Losing everyone

Coping with bereavement
1

Hey, I hope this is the right place for this, it’s about helping my MUM grieve.

In the last 5 years, she’s gone through a very messy divorce, her other son coming out as transgender, dog dying, mum dying, and now her partner of a few years is seriously ill and likely dead soon.

I’m wondering what to do for her. If I was in her position I think it would be just too much. Every time she gets close to being back on her feet, something major happens and knocks her down.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I feel sorry for her, she doesn’t deserve it, and I genuinely worry for her too. Every single year a traumatic event has happened.

I’m a 23 y/o male and live with her, I feel like I’m the only thing she has left now and that’s not enough. She’s literally lost everything apart from me.

Add that to financial struggles (which I try to help with as we live together) and I really worry about her health.

There’s not much I can do, it kills me to see her go through bereavement after bereavement, it’s almost WORSE than grieving to myself. I sometimes wish I could endure all the pain if it meant she has none.

Any help or input is greatly appreciated.
Wish all of you the best as well🙏🏼

2

You sound like a very caring son, @Anon11. I’m sorry your mum has gone through so much, and that her partner is so ill. If she would like to talk to others who are grieving, the community is here for her.

You might our Grief Kind resources helpful in supporting your mum. You can:

  • Watch our Grief Kind classes. Our Grief Kind classes are five short video tutorials in which Sue Ryder bereavement experts talk you through what grief is like and how you can support others who are grieving
  • Listen to our Grief Kind podcasts. Our Grief Kind podcasts are hosted by author, journalist and Sue Ryder ambassador, Clover Stroud. She speaks with celebrities about their personal experiences of bereavement and the support which helped them most when coping with their grief.
  • Read our guide on supporting someone else who has been bereaved.

Your mum may also find out our supporting someone at the end of life information useful.

It sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate as well and it’s okay if that sometimes feels too much. Please do take good care of yourself, too :blue_heart: