Losing Mum and a Higher Power

Losing a parent
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I lost my 91 year old mum. She passed after 8 weeks in hospital but it was in many respects a shock as she been declared ‘Medically Optimised’ at the end of the previous week. She just took a sudden downturn and passed. I’m 60. I’m distraught to say the least as she lived with me for decades and I retired completely before Covid to look after her. She was my whole life.

The 8 weeks were tough. I went in to care for and be with my mum 7am till 7pm. I wanted to. For a lot of that she had Hypoactive Delerium but I still wanted to.

I’m having really a lot of difficulty coping. This however gives me some solace.

In mid-December, I was leaving the Hospital one evening and there was a Carol Service on. This Sister was giving a little personal refection on her work. I listened a while thinking what an obviously lovely caring person and went off to the Car Park and went home for the night. I literally just caught ‘her bit’ of 3 minutes.

In mum’s last minutes some weeks later (we didnt know it was at all) the very same Sister turned up - she works for the Swan’s Service in the hospital. We were chatting for 2 - 3 minutes and unbeknown mum had passed. No one was expecting it then at all. She helped mum - removing things with dignity - and comforting me tremendously. She was wonderful.

I know it sounds silly but I think she was sent to do that. It was far too coincidental to be otherwise. It was if someone heard me thinking and thought I’ll do that for her. To help mum and me and that moment. Ill send this lovely person.

Am I going bonkers? I’m a really level headed guy not religious albeit I was brought up Christian. I don’t believe things lightly. It just seems far too… Well what are the odds? Huge hospital with lots of other Swan staff that could have gone and literally at that exact couple of minutes. Someone else could have come the day before or at any other time that day.

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I couldn’t edit my post as I’d left it too long but for me thats afirmation that there’s more going on than we understand. Something or someone is out there doing these things. We might not be able to explain it or understand it but there is.

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Hello @RichardJobes93 ,

I can see that you’re new to the community, so I wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your Mum that brings you here. I am so sorry to hear you are finding it difficult to cope, but thank you for sharing your experiences which have bought you some solace.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help right now.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,

Alex

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There were lots of ‘coincidences’ that felt and continue to feel more than that during my mums illness. For example, she was a priest (one of the first women in england) and at the end we we moved into a room called the Sunflower room, which is a symbol of ‘unwavering faith’. I’ve never been particularly religious myself, but when sleeping in the hospital i would go to the Chapel in the middle of the night to play piano or just have a bit of a cry. Then on the last day they brought in new flowers, sunflowers.

There was also less faith based ‘coincidences’… the hospital opened a Greggs the day she got admitted :rofl:

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Yes that is very strangely coincidental - the sunflowers. Some things you can put down to Bader Mienhoff syndrome (Frequency Illusion) but other things are far harder to explain than ‘mere chance’. It’s difficult to believe there isn’t more going on than we understand.

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