My mum passed away Wednesday evening after being diagnosed with a stage 4 brain tumour 8 weeks ago ! It was all very sudden for the family , as a lot of us had not been in touch for quite sometime , so we wasn’t there to observe these symptoms prior to diagnosis, although we knew she had been going dizzy she didn’t engage with services like she should due to her mental health . I got to spend the 8 weeks on and off with her after not seeing her for 17 years , got to hold her hand , care for her , chat to her about all sorts , although I never discussed why we fell out all them years ago or why she hadn’t contacted me as I didn’t want to cause her anymore pain .
I wasn’t there when she died , although I was the day before and I gave her lots of care and the biggest hug , I still feel guilty i wasn’t there. My mum was in a nursing home and they didn’t inform us prior that she was deteriorating even 40 minutes before she passed they said there had been no change , I live 70 miles away but my brother lives local to her so could have made it , so as a family we are naturally frustrated and are putting in a complaint to the home after the funeral.
I’m hoping it will get easier , as getting flashbacks to seeing her after she passed wasn’t a great experience , as he eyes were open and mouth she looked in pain.
It’s all very surreal at present 
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