Losing my amazing dad

I lost my dad in February to parkinsons disease related illness and had to watch him die in hospital over 4 days while we stayed with him .I thought I was coping well until 5 months later we were going on a holiday that was booked before he died.I ended up having a massive panic attack and the struggle with anxiety in the aftermath as been horrible, it doesn’t help as I have already been on medication for panic disorder for 18 years the grief seems to have brought everything back even horrible thoughts that things are never going to get better ,to make things worse my gp as decided to try and swap my antidepressant ,so not really sure if feelings are from grief or tablet changes ,when I wake in the morning I feel as my world is falling apart, as anyone found medication helpful for grief. Xx

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I have come to realise there is no medication for grief. It’s a series of horrendous emotions we have to go through and I wonder if we will ever get to the other side. I have found the anxiety to be the worst. In the beginning I was in so much grief and I pain I tried counselling hypnosis bereavement therapy and have realised that all this was way to soon. It is only fifteen months in that I am able to even start processing the feelings and trying to make sense of it all. I feel I have been in a waking nightmare. Grief is utterly relentless. I never knew love could be so painful x

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Thank you bluebell you have given me a little hope X

Thanks bluebell, I am also having cbt for my anxiety and gp swapped me to setraline 2 weeks ago which is making me feel horribly nauseas so it’s all a bit confusing which feelings are caused by tablets or grief. My worst time is in a morning when I feel my world as ended but I struggle on because I still have my mother and brother here and we are very close ,they have coped a lot better than me but they don’t have a problem with anxiety as I do .I have lost interest in my normal hobbies and am not enjoying life at the moment,so I’m hoping the cbt can help me and the tablets start to work,thanks for your comments it really does help.xx