Hi All
I Lost my Beautiful Daughter who died very suddenly on the morning of her Birthday 25/07/25 only aged 34.
I was there as she took her last breath just after opening her cards and presents. We were just getting ready to go away for her Birthday weekend in Manchester everything was planned the hotel, afternoon tea, boat cruise and the cinema. 
I am beyond devastated feels like my world had collapsed. My heart is broken as we lived together she was my world my everything we did everything together and thatās what makes things so much harder.
9 Likes
Iām so, so sorry for your loss. I donāt have any wise words of wisdom as I have also lost my beautiful, vibrant 23 year old daughter (five weeks tomorrow) and like you, I feel my whole world has collapsed. My Ellie also lived at home and like you, we did so much together. She was my best friend and by far, the best part of my life.
The pain of the hole the loss has left is immense, I know weāre early on this awful path but I canāt imagine a time when it gets any easier. I struggle to accept Iām never going to see her beautiful face or hear her lovely little voice again.
Iām sorry Iām not being of much help. I guess I just wanted to reach out to you to let you know youāre not alone. I hope someone else may be able to offer words of more comfort to you xxxx
6 Likes
Thank you so much my heart goes out to you too Iām so sorry for your loss of your beautiful daughter Ellie.
Im the same even though Yvette passed in front of me I expect for her to come back.
This heartache is awful just functioning day to day is so hard. Everywhere I am in the house has reminders of Yvette the gifts she bought me, her belongings, her bags on the floor that I canāt even move yet itās going to be a tough time.
Its comforting for a mum who is struggling with the heartache like me has put such lovely words on here who is grieving herself. Thank you. My love and hugs go out to you. Xx 
4 Likes
I watched my Ellie leave when she was in hospital following a short and unexpected illness. The trauma of that is too much for me to even process now so I push that aside, I have to. Sheād barely even had a cold as a child so this was so out of the blue. She was in critical care for a week, they didnāt know what was wrong and even now, weāre still waiting because the coroner couldnāt find a cause of death so more tests are likely to take three months. Iām just in limbo, wondering how on earth I went from having a laugh and chatting to her on the Monday to finding her fitting on the Tuesday and leaving a week later. I just canāt understand and I canāt accept it.
I went to stay with my brother and his family for three weeks when it first happened but when I came back home, I realised how much of the house she is in, literally every where I look I can associate something with Ellie. Her shoes are still in the cupboard so I struggle to go in but I donāt want to move them because her empty shoe shelf will be obvious. I do try going in her room to say good morning but I see her things as she mostly left them, even dirt from her docs on the floor.
I canāt take comfort from her belongings because I just keep realising sheāll never need or use them again. Itās so painful. I hope there will come a time where I get some peace. I guess itās too early to even hope for that but the thought of waking every day to this pain is overwhelming.
I hope you have some support around you xx For most of Ellieās life I was a single parent so I donāt have a partner but I do have another daughter who is 12 and if Iām honest, sheās the only thing that has kept me from going down a very dark path. I do feel though that however much support you have, losing a child is a very, very lonely place to be. Even when Iām not alone, I feel lonely, although I think thatās probably quite normal when losing an adult child who had inevitably become a best friend too xx
Iām sorry if Iām such an Eeyore, I wish I had some good, positive and inspiring insight or advice but honestly, Iām completely winging it, and only then if I have an āokayā hour or so xxxx
2 Likes
Our daughter died suddenly in April this year aged 32. She had an undiagnosed heart condition and had plans for the next weeks, months and years. Too young, too soon.
She had moved away when she was 19 to uni and stayed there - she loved her life and was loved by many (who we hardly knew) in her adopted community. We did talk often but I canāt imagine how much harder again it might be had she still lived at home. That said, she called and texted often and i miss her so much. Iām sad that I didnāt truly appreciate the time we had.
She lived in Scotland - far from us, and the distance meant we only were able to clear her flat last month. We donated almost all most of her belongings to charity - and it was all so very, very hard. It felt like we were deliberately erasing 13 years of her life.
Weāve kept and shared quirky bits and bobs - mugs, some jewellery, her beloved white teddy sheās had since birth. We have been able to smile when using her favourite mugs - so itās not all tears. Iāve recently had to clear several family homes and feel it becomes harder to let things go as time goes on, so weāll try to limit what else we keep - some will be packed up for now.
We are lucky to have very supportive family and friends though many are also still reeling and grieving with us.
Some days I still get through hour by hour, and itās not always the obvious things that trigger either.
Our circumstances may be different, but Iām reaching out to send a virtual hug from one devastated mummy to another.
3 Likes
My heart goes out to you all. My husband died 2 years ago with cancer then I lost our 28 year old daughter to sepsis 11 months ago. She went to bed saying that she had the flu. I took her coffee, toast, soup and paracetamol and kept an eye on her. The following morning she said that she couldnāt feel her legs. I rang an ambulance. 11 hours later I came home without her. My life is so pointless, apart from my son who is now 28 too and struggling from the loss of both his Dad and his sister. Life is so cruel xxx
1 Like
Iām so so sorry for your loss my heart goes out to you. Losing your husband and your daughter it must be so hard for you and also double the grief.
My daughter passed suddenly in front of me nearly 7 weeks ago with a thrombo pulmonary embolism on the morning of her 34th birthday the pain and heartbreak when you lose a child is devastating. Iām just existing at the moment my heart is empty since Yvette left me. I feel so alone I have a 34 year old son but he has just backed away from me and carried on with his life. Iām so alone and because Yvette lived with me we did everything together and its so hard. I canāt understand how much you are going through and again I am so sorry for your loss. Please stay strong. Xx
1 Like
My heart goes out to you Jules. (My name is Paula). My son lives with his fiancƩe and is thankfully coping better than me. He says that I have turned our house into a shrine because I have photos everywhere but its how I cope. I am so sorry that you have lost Yvette. I feel your pain because I am just existing too. I joined this group because nobody understands how I feel but can tell that you are in the same boat as me. Sending you my Love and strength xxx
2 Likes
Hi Paula
It is so lovely to speak to you from one grieving mum to another.
I too have put photos up of Yvette and there is a table in the corner of my living room with candles and an angel itās not a shrine its remembering my daughter for who she was.
I understand how you must be feeling and Iām here anytime if you want to chat. I have a partner who doesnāt live with me and me and my sister have just reconnected after many years but I feel so alone and now I have no one to talk to. xx
1 Like
Please talk to me anytime Jules. I too feel so alone. People say āI know how you feel cos I lost my Mumā. Its so not the same, as you know. I have always tried to turn negativity into a positive thing but I canāt with this. Its just so wrong xxx
2 Likes
No this grief isnāt the same as losing a parent this is a child who youāve given birth to and nurtured for years Iāve had the same comments as well also oh you will heal in time erm no that wonāt happen either my heart went with Yvette itās an awful feeling.
Iām the same trying to stay positive but then certain things come into your head like Im got to live the rest of my life without Yvette before I get to see her again. This is such a cruel world. xx
1 Like
I went to see a clairvoyant (my son thinks that I have lost my mind but in reality I have lost my heart). My daughter came through. He didnāt know me, I booked under a false name incase he found me on Facebook. The comfort that it gave me was incredible. It will never be enough I know but when you are desperate anything is worth a try xxx
2 Likes
If anything gives you comfort at this sad time it worth doing Paula.
You do whatever you need to do in order to grieve and survive.
I am keeping the final moments in my head that Yvette opened her cards and presents and said thank you and I got my last hug and I love you. Xx
2 Likes
Just caught up with this chat, Paula and Juls - sending hugs to you both. My husband and sons (also living a long way away) are āputting on a brave faceā but I know and have to accept thatās just a different way of grieving. My husband and she were very alike - he still can barely talk about her in any depth. It took him 4 days to tell his own family further information after the initial shocked call to one sibling to pass on.
We have a photo of Niamh that is the last one she sent to me. She was on holiday and went to the hairdresser so sending me a running commentary - the final one was showing off her new haircut so a very cheesy grin (none of us like being in photos so theyāre never āproperā) and it was sent with a comment about being a ābit ginger on topā. We used it at the funeral - it was just her - and now it is sitting in our hall. It still catches me off guard when I walk past it frequently - I had to move it from the living room as it felt like constantly turning a knife in the wound. We already had lots of old family photos there of our kids - but this is just her, and a larger photo. She looked so happy and coincidentally had seen and done lots of great things in the previous 4 weeks, travelled back to her home and was found dead in bed less than a week later. It couldnāt have been a better way to go if that was āher timeā- she lived life as fully as she could (she also had MS) and the thought of prolonged declining health would have been awful for her and for us.
Iām not being smug as all that is true, but none of it helps to soften the pain and loss. Our wee family had started online Sunday āfamchatsā (her name) in lockdown and kept these going as we were so rarely all together. We have continued since she died and every call is a reminder sheās gone - before with 3 locations the image on the screen jumped around all the time - now its 2 and fixed. The dynamics are different. And Iāll suddenly get a lump in my throat.
Iād love to think Ellie, Yvette and Niamh are together somewhere -Niamh will be rolling her eyes at me crying as I write this. Karen x
2 Likes
Thank you Niamhās Mum. I talk to our Soph and my Kevin all the time, they were both massive eye rollers every time I spoke lol, but when you know someone inside and out you know what theyād say. The life is a darker place without them. Sending you my Love xxx
2 Likes
Aww thinking of you Karen and sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter Niamh.
It is heartbreaking to lose a child but lovely that we are all reaching out as noone should feel alone through this grieving process. Every day is a different emotion. Xx
2 Likes
Thank you both - as youāll know there are no wordsā¦
Iām in a bookgroup - itās meeting tonight and Iām a bit anxious as I havenāt seen āthe girlsā (the youngest is almost 60!) since Niamhās service. I understand others feel the need to say something, and Iāll say weāre as good as we can be. That will be the best I can manageā¦
Niamh and I argued (a lot!) and in her most recent visit home (about a month before she died) she gave me a massive proper hug as she was leaving and said āand we havenāt argued for two days - thatās good!ā. We laughed, and it was good.
Iāll hold onto that. I felt it as we walked into the crem, as we scattered her ashes, and and summons it when things are harder than usual.
Good to have someone who āgets itā. K
1 Like
Sending you my Love and strength for tonight Karen. I dread seeing people, so completely understand. I am off work sick at the moment because its the 1st Anniversary of losing our Soph on the 14th of October and I just want to hide xxx
1 Like
Hopefully you can go for walks or something that takes you out of the house - I understand hiding but, for me, I need at least temporary distraction
Take care of you .x
1 Like
I also donāt want to see anyone and have been hiding away and isolating myself, which i know isnāt great. Youāre really brave going to the bookgroup and I hope you have enjoy it as much as you can xx
2 Likes