My bf passed away on 11th March I cannot cope I don’t know how to deal with it
Hello Billie 47, I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Do you have a family who you can talk to. What about your boyfriend’s parents. How old are you because if you are very young then you should not be going through this on your own, grief is bad enough whatever age you are and we all need someone to talk to and lean on.
We are all here for you if you want to talk.
So sorry for your loss.
You’re not alone; no one knows how to deal with loss. We all struggle and worry about how we’re feeling. Talking does help, even if you only talk to yourself, in the car, in the house, to the cat/dog.
It’s new, it’s unknown; there’s no instruction book, we all have to find our way through and so will you. But there’s no hurry; take each moment as it comes, just aim to get through the next 5 minutes, 10 minutes. Go at your own speed and very slowly you’ll know what to do.
Some days it feels as if you’ve made no progress (whatever that means) but you’ll gradually work out the right way for you to cope.
Keep talking to us and you’ll feel a little less alone.
Remember, all of us on here are in the same position as you.
So sorry I lost my hubby 7march so hard. i have a cry all the time another support says take 10 minutes then another 10.talk to your children…
I Have started doing a jigsaw I find that helps me also I have started knitting toys for charity in the evenings when. I find that is the worst time thank goodness I have my little dog to talk to thinking of you . Norma
I lost my soulmate on Easter Saturday in a horrific way. We’d spent the morning in the garden, and he’d gone to make us lunch. The next I knew was he collapsed in the doorway and had stopped breathing. I tried for about 15 mins to administer CPR until help arrived. This now haunts my thoughts and dreams, with the images and sounds. I watched for an hour while three paramedics worked on him on the kitchen floor, then a further half hour in the back of the ambulance. When we got to the hospital his family took over, and I was left in the visitors room. He later died, and I feel totally lost without him. I’ve not been included in any funeral arrangements and am not to even send flowers. We’d been together for five months, and he was an amazing man.
I am so sorry Martinrjm. What a terrible experience it was for you. You did your best to save your boyfriend’s life and you must always remember that. Family’s, when they are grieving can be cruel without even knowing it, they forget about the person their son or daughter loved as they seem to think because you were together for such a short time you cannot be hurting. When I met my husband of 47 years in 1964, it was love at first sight for both of us and if he had died even one week after I had met him, my heart would have been broken but no-one would have given me a second thought.
They have told you not to send flowers, but there is nothing to stop you going to the church or the crematorium afterwards and laying flowers on your own and saying your goodbyes to him in private. Only you and he knew what you had together so you have to cling on to the happy times you shared.
I lost my beautiful wife of 25 years at the age of 49 on the 12th March with no warning she died at home before I got back from work. It breaks my heart she died alone, she had sent me a text at 1.20pm saying how much she loved me, I sent one back at 4.15pm saying I loved her more, I will never know if she read it before she suddenly died.
It is so hard but you both knew how absolutely close you were, family find it hard and don’t realise that since you got together the love you had made you the closest possible even more than blood family, I say that because I truly believe you were already family to each other, but is a case of taking it minute by minute, friends have told me to take it a day at a time which shows me they care, but we know a day can give us a huge change of emotions its like a rollacoaster, but I can say that this forum is a comfort and had helped me.