Losing my dad and getting married

I lost my dad 10 months ago very suddenly, one minute he was here, the next he was gone and it has been a very hard thing to deal with.

4 months after my dad passed, my (now) fiance’s sister got married. I knew it wasn’t going to be an easy day as a couple of weeks before the wedding I found out that the father/daughter dance was going to be the song that I wrote on paper and put into his coffin. My fiancé straight up told his sister and all hell broke loose. Long story short, the song wasn’t changed. The dance turned into a literal nightmare for me. The song started playing and I found myself stood in a crowd of people balling my eyes out. I was trying to get through but the physical pain of hearing that song brought my to my knees, it felt like someone hard torn my heart out of my chest. It’s never been spoken since…

Anyway, now its my turn. We recently got engaged and are getting married next year. Every time I think about my dad not being there to see me get married I start to well up and get a lump in my throat. I want to do things as a tribute, but I don’t want to make it a sad occasion. I’m hoping in a years time it will be easier, because I don’t feel like I’m dealing with his passing very well. There are days I won’t get out of bed and I’ve got into trouble with work. So my question is, does anyone have any tips? Any ideas on what could work as a tribute without making it sad?

Hi @Sophiepd26 and welcome to our community. I’m very sorry about the sudden death of your dad, that is very difficult to deal with indeed.

Congratulations on your recent engagement, I’m just sorry that you’re having to deal with your grief at what should be a happy time. Hopefully someone will come along with some suggestions for a tribute. As you say it’s tricky as you want your dad to be included in the wedding, without making it a sad occasion - I’m sure there will be others on our community who’ve paid a tribute to a loved one at their wedding who can share some suggestions :slight_smile:

Please do have a read of other threads here and perhaps get involved in some conversations - you may find it helpful to chat to others who are recently bereaved and know what you’re going through.

best wishes