Losing my dad at 17

My amazing dad died on the 6th March this year while in America on business. He died in his sleep and it was a huge shock as he had no underlying health problems. We were extremely close, I absolutely adored him and our relationship was so special. I’m really struggling with coming to terms with the fact i have lost him at such a young age while still at school and not being able to talk to anyone who has experienced anything remotely similar to me at a similar age. I am so angry that it had to be my dad, none of my friends are as close as we were and he was my biggest supporter. I looked up, and still do, to him and at the life he led. I just wanted to make him proud and I resent the fact that he won’t see me grow up into adulthood and see what kind of person I become because he said all the time how proud he was of me and my two older brothers. I miss him desperately.

littlebear, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad - it sounds as if you had a wonderful relationship and he was a great role model. It is incredibly cruel that you had to lose him so early in your life and of course it’s made even harder knowing your friends can’t really empathise. How about your brothers? Can you talk about your dad to them? Is your mum around? I lost my mum a few months ago and although I’m older than you I’m finding it very hard too. I get some comfort thinking that we both knew how much we loved each other and knowing she was proud of me when she died. Of course your own experience is unique and I’m so sorry for you.

Littlebear, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is when you are so close to a parent and they are taken away so suddenly. I have also lost my dad recently and its been really hard as he died suddenly of a heart attack. The shock of losing him has led to an outpouring of grief in various ways including panic attacks and crying intermittently. I have realised that I am not coping well and my family and friends are trying their best to support me. However, I am also going for counselling too and recently joined a bereavement support group as everyone there is in the same situation so we are supporting each other. Have you considered counselling as it could help to talk about how you are feeling?

Little bear, I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m in tears reading this. I lost my dad suddenly in January. I’m 26, so young but not as young as you. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this and hope you have massive support around you to help you through. I’m only a message away x

My husband died in his sleep too on 28th Feb. He died 4 days before my daughters 18th … she is struggling too. Just wanted to send you love xxx

So sorry to hear that awful news xxx

You’re not alone littlebear ; I’m almost 57 and can still vividly remember coming home from the sixth form on the 21 April 1978 to find out that my dad had died of a heart attack while playing badminton . He was 47 and I was 17, just like you . I was extremely close to him and like you felt the same feelings of anger and grief at losing him when I needed him most . I went on to become a lawyer , get married and have two brilliant sons . I’ve never forgotten the incredibe time I had with him , and my life has been proundly shaped by his life and the model that he was and still is to me , in all aspects of my life but especially in my relationship with my own sons . It will take time for you to come to terms with this terrible tragedy . You and your brothers must pull together and support each other in the difficult emotional times ahead . At the time it happened to me I thought I could never be happy again but it is possible and I hope you can , in time . He will always be a part of your life as he would have been had he been around longer . My thoughts are with you as I’m certain are the thoughts of everyone who has seen your post .

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