Losing my dad to bowel cancer in October 2019

Hi everyone I just thought I would write a message, not sure if it will help.
I lost my dad to bowel cancer in October last year, he battled for 3 years he was 57. He was my best friend and I am really struggling at the moment just don’t know what to do half of the time. Everything reminds me of him and I just miss him so much, he used to give me advice on everything and always cheer me up and make me laugh.

Even though I do have a close family and we’re always there for each other, I still feel lonely sometimes it’s a strange feeling. Just wish I could change everything and go back to normal. My life has completely changed and I can’t do anything about it

Hi, I noticed you hadn’t received a reply from the users of this site so thought I’d drop you a line.

I think what your experiencing is grief mixed with the trauma of watching your dad go through what he did.

It maybe that as time passes the rawness will ease off so you.ll be able to remember your dad with a smile and remember all the good times you had together.

It’s not easy this grief lark but it’s an unfortunate part of life, we can’t avoid it, just try to get through each day and hope that we can feel a bit better as time moves on.

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Hi yes this grief business is so confusing and painful. Don’t know what to do with yourself. Yearning to turn back time and freeze it. Feeling so lost and lonely even if you are surrounded by people. It’s a horrible awful time. Sorry you lost your wonderful dad. I lost my mum August last year. To cancer of unknown primary. We didn’t even know she had cancer until two days before she died. I have been watching a short video I found on my phone today. I can hear her and see her so clearly. How can she be gone. I’m still in denial. Just be kind to yourself. Today I have really cried and am now laying on my bed. I needed a day like this as I have been numb all week

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Sophie, I’m sorry for you loss. I lost my Mum suddenly in October. It feels like a daily nightmare. I want the past back, but clearly that’s not going to happen, Take care. x

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Hi here I lost my mum just last week to the same thing but my mum left it too long before going to get checked out and when she did she found out it was that but it spreaded to much and they couldn’t do nothing for her and she passed away on the 22nd jan 2020 me, my dad and my 2 sisters stayed with her the last 2 nights of her life and stayed with her till the end it was the hardest thing iv had to do but she’s not in pain any more , I’m just lost without her and I don’t know what to do my mum was my everything she was the one that was always there if I needed someone to talk to or anything she was my rock . I’m sorry for your loss aswell

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Hi Sophie180

I know exactly how you feel, I lost my dad in October 19 to lung cancer that had spread to his liver & brain.
He had been fighting it for circa 2.5 years before it spread. The last few weeks were really tough watching the man who raised me, who was my hero, who was so strong… fading fast before my eyes. He became confused & in so much pain it broke my heart .
I knew he had to go & that it would be better for him, but my life is not the same. He has left the biggest void.
I speak to him& text him when I’m feeling low. So sometimes I feel that he’s with me.
My mum is still with me, although she suffered a severe stroke 9 months ago, which affects her cognitive function, so some days she doesn’t remember that dads gone.
I have a husband & daughter, but sometimes feel so alone. I don’t want to put any of My sadness on my daughter as her grandad was her best friend. Also she has her GCSE this year so don’t w at to add extra pressure.
I feel very guilty some days because I’ve let him slip from my thoughts for a few hours. I know it’s the grieving process, but is tough.
Hope you are starting to have better days.
Take care

Thankyou for your message, I am starting to have better days. Although some days I am up and down.

Take care and same to you xx