Losing my dad to suicide

I lost my dad to suicide on June 22ns 2022. 10 months down the line, and I still feel the same pain, anger and confusion as I did the day it happened.

My dads situation was confusing to get my head around as he had heart surgery a few weeks before it happened. He reacted badly to the anaesthetic and became paranoid and wasn’t thinking straight.

My dad didn’t come back the same person from the hospital, as he was scared of silly things and was worried about things that didn’t need to be worried about

I was in disbelief when I got told that he had passed away. Let alone that it was a suicide as he was such an advocate for mental health, and he was just such a happy person.

I found myself questioning why trying to think of all the reasons why he did it why he would leave his family behind, and I just can’t get my head around it still.

Last week I also lost one of my best friends to suicide. It’s all becoming a bit much and I’m finding it hard to deal with the bereavement of my dad and one of my best friends.


Hello @Georgia2975 ,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling pain, anger and confusion. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad and friend. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

You might also want to take a look at the following;

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Sending super sized hugs of support, I can see it’s been a lot to go through, & both sad losses will of made changes, & empty spaces in your life, it will take time to process such big changes.
Loosing a parent is a lot to take in on its own, without the loss of a friend who, I’m guessing would of supported you through that loss. I find when things are overwhelming & a lot to take in, I mind map, or keep a diary & colour code my thoughts according to emotions, (Blue for sadness, red for anger, purple for fear/anxiety), but you do whatever works for you. I tend to find lately that my emotions come in waves, just trust the tide. I can understand why with it all being so resent, those emotions are still raw.
I had 2 suicide attempts back in my teens, so I know from experience, when people are in that headspace, we hide how we feel very well, sometimes too well, & there’s nothing anyone could of done or said. But it’s up to you how you choose to work through that grief, cry, scream, write, sing heavy metal at full volume, talk to a friend or councillor, just let it out in your own way.