I lost my Dad 2 months ago and I am struggling. I can’t stop crying. I spoke to my best friend and she has more or less told me I have to get back to normal, go back to work etc. I really don’t think I’m ready and think people think I’m soft or a burden. I don’t know what to do for the best.
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Hi @Northender77,
Thank you for bravely reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Grief is different for everyone, and whereas some people might feel ready to go back to work after 2 months, others wouldn’t, and that’s completely normal.
You are not alone. I’m not sure if you’ve seen our Losing a parent category. But there you can connect with other members who are living with grief after losing a parent.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support to you. In the meantime, you might find these Sue Ryder resources helpful to read.
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Our Losing a parent page talks through some of the emotions you may be experiencing
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
I hope you find the community to be a support to you. Take good care and keep reaching out 
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I am so sorry for your loss 
i lost my dad 5 years ago and still miss him loads
I dont believe your friend is correct - your grief is just that - yours! And it will be different from anybody elses. I believe Going back to work can be very helpful as it can be a distraction but on the days where u are feeling so sad it can be detrimental. I found i had to go with the grief. Your mind is very clever - u can not physically cry for ever - so once i had a sob and got angry i would calm down and be able to do stuff. The times between episodes get longer. Now i feel love when i think of him ( some sadness of course) but i do not sob. You will get through this and adapt.
Do not feel like your a burden. If u have a good friend thats there for you thats great. Sometimes they try to help you fix the problem but thats because they dont know what else to do - they still want to help you so keep them close if you can.
Most of all take care of yourself. Eat drink sleep abd rest xxx
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I am so sorry, I truly feel your pain. I also lost my dad 2 months ago and over the last few days the grief has hit me so hard. I have 2 teenage daughters and I have been so focused on navigating them through everything that I think I have failed to acknowledge how deep my grief actually runs.
I am assuming that your friend has not lost anyone close? They won’t mean to hurt you with what they say but only you know how you feel. As I have said to my kids, there is no rule book for grief and you have to go with how you feel.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts and wishes, you can get through this x
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Thank you both and I’m so sorry for loss. I feel like I’m heading towards a breakdown. These past couple of weeks have been so hard. I know things will get better, but it doesn’t feel like it at the moment
I too feel am having a nervous breakdown! I lost my dad last September then my mum this August! I cannot function right now! Am a mess x
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I e started having the beginnings of panic attacks. I feel dreadful and don’t know what to do
Can you visit your GP? They may be able to give you something temporarily to help with the anxiety. Try grounding techniques if you feel the panic rising. Focus on 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. It will help to distract you in the moment.
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I have started on sertraline for my anxiety 3 weeks ago go to your GP xx
I’m already on sertraline. I’ve got an appointment on Thursday. I’ll see what they say x
Good please let us know how you get on x
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I will do x
Doctor has given me some more propranolol. Going to have a couple more weeks off work then bite the bullet and go back x
That’s positive then! How long have you been off work? I have been off 2 month and cannot see myself going back! X
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I’ve been off for just over 2 months. I’ve spoken to my manager today and I am going to have a full phased return. My duties are going to be changed too.
I’m dreading going back to be honest x
Yes it’s a big step! I had lunch with a friend today and explained how my anxiety is so bad I feel am going mad! She lost her mum too and said she was exactly the same made me feel better x
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Glad you feel you’re not alone.
I’m just getting through each day. X
Hope you are not alone! Did you go back to work?? X
No, not yet. Got another fit note u til the end of the month. It’s Dads birthday then and my son is 21. Going to be a difficult time but realise I am going to have to go back at some point. It’s hard as I work for the NHS and I blame them at the moment for Dad dying xx
I also work for thee NHS and it’s stressful! Don’t go jack until you are ready! Can I ask do you still feel in a fog? I am 2 month down the line and feel awful!!! C
X