Hi.
I’ve been lurking on this forum for a few days and felt the need to post…
My Dad passed away just over a week ago age 83. He had a long term lung condition which was getting progressively worse so his health was slowly deteriorating but it still came as a huge shock.
Around 5 days before he passed he had a procedure to remove a skin cancer from his head. He came home and the same day felt light headed and took a fall. We called an ambulance to have him checked over. He never broke any bones but while in hospital his breathing became worse and blood pressure and heart rate both high. A scan revealed pneumonia and after a couple of days on antibiotics which did not seem to help we were told the day before he passed they were changing his medication and moving him to a respiratory ward and indicated in a few days they were hopeful it should clear up so he could come home….at no point did they say they were concerned he would not recover. Sadly the following morning we were called at 5.30 to say he had died in the early hours. He never wanted to be there and we weren’t able to be with him at the end which has caused the family huge distress.
A week on I am battling with my own grief. Up and down, occasionally overwhelmed with loss and in tears but most of the time generally sad about what had happened and what the future holds.
What is eating me up to the same degree if not more than the grief for my dad is my mum being alone. They were married for over 60 years, had very few friends and I think would have spent very little time apart before he was hospitalised.
Since his death, between me and my 2 siblings we have occupied almost 100% of her time at her home, including taking turns to stay over. We all realise this can’t be forever so she is going to try staying on her own but I’m finding it difficult thinking of leaving her - I hate to think of her in alone, in pain and lonely.
Had anyone else experienced this where the pain of support the remaining parent is as bad if not worse than the pain of their own grief.
Thank you