Losing my ‘Dad’

I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is wrong.
I was estranged from my ‘dad’ for over thirty years. Or who I thought was my dad. I found out when I was 35 that he wasn’t actually my father, ( I’m 48 now ) and although I hadn’t seen him for 20 years at that point, I was really shocked. We hadn’t had a particularly good relationship and he was a bully and manipulative to my mum and me, but he was the only father I’d known.
Well I just heard that he was killed in a road accident three days ago and I can’t stop crying.
I thought I’d made my peace with not having a relationship with him and of course there is the fact that he isn’t actually my father, so I don’t understand why I’m so upset about it.


Hello @LauraJ74,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your father. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,