Losing my dad

I lost my dad 2 months ago to covid. He went into hospital on the 7th November as he was very breathless so we rang an ambulance and they got him straight in. He was diagnosed with covid pneumonia. He undertook treatment and was getting better and they were looking to send him home for Christmas. He was in hospital a long time and the whole experience was draining and a rollercoaster. Working full time and going up the hospital nearly every night to make sure he was ok. After new year he just got worse, needed more oxygen, thrush and blood clots in the lungs and then he sadly passed away on the 16th January early hours of the morning. He had other underlying health conditions such as leukaemia and Parkinson’s which has been a struggle the past 6 years but he never wanted or deserved to go. He was an absolute fighter to the end. I just feel like such a failure as a daughter and that I let him down as all he wanted to do was get out of that hospital and I couldn’t get him home. I just can’t believe I’m going through this. Life is just so unfair and cruel, how am I supposed to go and live my life without my dad. I miss him sooo much :frowning: you never expect to lose your dad as young as 25. I’ve never loss someone close to me before so I don’t know how to feel, people around me struggle to know what to say


Hello Kellyxdawe

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,


Hi Kellyxdawe,

I’m sorry for your loss.

I lost my lovely dad 4 and a half months ago. Dad had cancer which in 2020 and we thought he was through it. In April last year dad developed back pain and in September we got the devestating news that it was mesestatic cancer, we lost dad 8 weeks later.

During the 8 weeks we had with dad I moved back in with my parents and tried to juggle full time work and caring for him. When this became unmanageable I took a break from work to care for him.

Dad’s final two months were a rollercoaster, mum and I tried to care for him but he became agitated and we struggled to keep him safe as he would keep getting up and he was unsteady on his feet. We tried to muddle through but during this time dad also spent a couple of weeks in the hospital. Dad hated being in hospital and asked me everyday to get him home at this point we had no idea that we would lose him only weeks later so I told him he needed to stay there until he was better.

Dad did come home but two weeks later he went into hospice and passed away days later. My dad was my everything and if I could have swapped places with him I would have done it in a heartbeat. I have struggled so much with feeling guilty, guilty that I didn’t know dad was ill and tormented that I couldn’t get him home quicker, but I know I did my best at the time. I think feelings of guilt and regret are sadly common when we lose someone we love.

I am older than you at 37, my dad was 70 but most of my friends, some of which are much older still have their parents. I had no experience with close loss prior to losing dad and dad was the person I feared losing the most.

Life will be very different moving forwards but i am told that we adapt even though it seems impossible right now.

If you ever want to chat please feel free to reach out.