Losing my dad

My dad died six weeks ago three days after a cardiac arrest that left him unconscious and with massive brain damage. We had to take the decision to remove him from life support. He lived for a further 12 hours which we spent with him. I know he was unaware of what was happening but he died ten minutes after we left to get some rest and I feel so guilty. He wasn’t alone as the lovely ICU nurse was with him but it’s so hard to know we weren’t there. I feel numb some days and devastated others. My husband is finding it hard to deal with my grief and I feel a bit alone. I miss my dad and it’s hard to carry on with normal things. I know it’s all part of the grieving process but do other people feel alone even when they are not? Thanks.

Dear Jane,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry your dad died. Six weeks is a very short time, and it seems like your grief is still very raw and painful.

You loved your father and you didn’t do anything wrong. The feelings of guilt, loneliness and numbness that you describe are very common when you are recently bereaved, and many of our users describe the same emotions.

Our online community may help you feel less alone, as everyone here has lost someone. While you wait for responses to your post, you might like to read some recent conversations by other users who have also lost their fathers:



If there’s anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this online community, just let me know.

Best wishes,