Hello, my wonderful dad died feb 5th suddenly & unexpectedly aged 70.
My mom then had a fall the same day which resulted in a broken hip. I oversaw everything calling coroners / called friends / family / finances whilst supporting my mom, brother and our families!
I can’t bring myself to look at photos of my dad because the reality of him not being here or coming back is just too much.
My mom had a bad day yesterday and she said I don’t understand what it’s like to lose a husband they had been together over 50 yrs. I tried to explain I didn’t but my grief is just as valid and painful as hers to which she said I would never understand.
I just feel so lost again I am supporting mom the best I can whilst back at work and trying to motivate & encourage her to do things as I feel she’s lost her purpose. The reality of knowing I won’t ever see my dad again is just well I don’t have the words really!
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Hi, how very hard for you, trying to manage your own grief whilst also supporting your Mum. You’re very right to tell your Mum that your grief is just as valid as hers… obviously you are both grieving. Whilst you’ll both tread your own individual grief journey there’s obviously common ground. Sharing your feelings with your Mum and encouraging her to do the same might help. Remember you don’t have to fix everything for your Mum, however much it might feel that it’s your responsibility. Eventually you might be able to share some memories while you look at photos together. Just be patient and kind to yourself. There’s no timeline to grief and everyone just tries to manage it as well as they can. Best wishes xx
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