I lost my Fiancé in May, I have 4 children - the 2 youngest are his but he loved the eldest 2 like his own aswell, Our youngest baby wasn’t even 6 months old when Martyn passed very suddenly from a cardiac arrest, we were together 8 years, just got engaged at Christmas and my world has come crashing down! I don’t know how to cope with this, I feel sick constantly and can’t stop crying! I need him back! He passed at home outside our house after just arriving back from work, me, my mum and the neighbours all tried to save him but we couldn’t, this makes it all so much worse because I keep blaming myself, and I’m torturing myself saying I didn’t deserve him and that’s why he has been taken away, how do I get us through this
I am new to this forum also, and so I am not going to offer any sage advice. I just wanted you to know that people on here have been great and have listened and supported me so kindly and freely. It has helped a lot to talk and to be understood by people that have been through this. I just know they will reach out and do the same for you. If you want to talk at any time then please message and I will listen and try and help in any way I can. Sending you lots of care x
I feel your pain I am also new and alot seemed to have lost someone in May with heart related sudden deaths like myself, I have serious amoujt of friend abd family but they are hurting to snd I do find this is easier, I blamed myself that I couldnt save my paul but he never suffered I knew that min I found him, Dont make it easier, cant even look at death cert or anything, Nothing seems to trigger its real, I just the Dr says have gone into non acceptance mode and starting counsellor soon as can get one, We have 3 grown up kids his 2 and my own but blood means nothing its the love we all have and he made sure we were so close and thats amazing, Life has been rippedto pieces and never heal, get better or accept this has happened but I have to think he would want me to get help as I will say yours would to, To feel this pain meant you had to of loved him so much, I am good at given advice but cant take it, sending you love and strenght
Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it and I hope we can all find some peace somehow
Thank you for your comment, I’m sorry we’re all going through this, we can just take it minute buy minute I suppose… it’s just so damn unfair, I feel so much guilt about not being able to save him too
Minute by minute but this is so cruel sweetie feel your pain, Its So not fair, I cant say Why my Paul cause thats like wishing it on someone elses family and I wouldnt want that, But damn feel it some times Please dont feel guilty I have to say unless I am lying to myself I dont and cant feel guilty as Paul always wanted to go fast and not suffer and thats what he did, So I honestly cant feel guilty he got what he wanted but he never wanted it this soon
Please try not to blame yourself. I really struggled with this at first. My husband had a cardiac arrest and I tried to resuscitate him before the paramedics arrived. He was in an induced coma for 12 days and I had to say goodbye to him in hospital. Lack of oxygen to the brain meant he could never come back. I blamed myself for not acting quickly enough. I’m learning to accept that I did everything I could after advice from a lot of people. The funeral was only 4 weeks ago and everything is still very raw for me also. Believe me I do know what you are going through💙
It’s horrible tnat we all know what you’re going thrugh as we’re all going through the same thing. My June’s funeral was 2 weeks ago - I’m told it went welll. I don’t know as I don’t remember it. she chose the songs, sorted them before hand… I miss her
Bless you, it’s very traumatic to deal with that on top of losing them, I know how hard it is and how we think we should’ve done something different, I suppose it’s human nature… but it’s still very tough to accept we did all we could
I hope you can find strength moving forward on this journey, I don’t know how I’ll do it so I can’t offer any advice either but at least we have support to help us when we need it, which I’m very grateful for
Just adding myself to this group
My dad left this earth from cardiac arrest a year ago in his sleep.
We can not control these things. Please do not blame yourselves. Your loss is catastrophic. There was nothing you could have done differently. Please find peace in knowing that.
The pain from grief is indescribable. Try to look after your own health as best as possible - stay hydrated and try to eat something every day.
Much love to you as you navigate. You will come through this because you have no other choice. My hope is that by letting you know that your mind will gain more peace down the road gives you a light to reach for.
I’m so sorry about your dad, thank you for adding to this thread, it helps to know others understand and can relate, I have to hold onto the hope that things will get easier in time, but right now it all seems so impossible
I’m so sorry for your loss at such a young age .im losing my husband too he is only 49 and I can’t see a life without him .
But we will both find a way just take 1 day at a time and do what feels right for you send my love k
I have been texin my son who also died suddenly for over a year now!
I find just telling him I love him& miss him & things going on helps me!
It will get easier ,I promise! Ur in my prayers