Losing my fiancee of three years suddenly

My fiancee passed away four weeks ago this coming Friday with complications from sepsis. She had spent two weeks previous to this in our local ICU fighting for every second and had I was told turned a corner. However she developed further complications following an amputation and within 24 hrs she was taken of life support. I was with her and for that I am truly grateful, but I’m really really struggling with the pointlessness and overwhelming sadness. Her celebration of life is next week and I’m both scared and almost looking forward to getting to say a proper goodbye. I think about her nearly every waking second and I’m just not sure how I’m supposed to cope

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Hello @Sweetstargazer,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your fiancée. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,


Hi, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 29 years 9 weeks ago. I was also with him when they turned off the life support. The pain and sadness is still as strong as it was in the first few days but I am coping better than I was a few weeks ago.
We had a celebration of life for my husband. I was a mess before hand but somehow found strength when we arrived at the service. I had tried to make what was said humourous as he was a very funny guy. There were lots of laughs as well as tears during the service. At the celebration after I found comfort in how many people came and the stories they told. I laughed alot. (And cried).
Hopefully you will get some comfort from your fiancée’s celebration of life. I hope you have family, friends to support you. Take care x

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I think the anticipation of the funeral outweighs the reality.
I thought I would be a mess and was for some of it.

But meeting faces I had only heard names for, hearing stories of antics in his life before me, meeting childhood friends and previous colleagues of both of ours, was really special and I too laughed and cried.

It was a special day for him and we did him proud. He would have enjoyed it, if he was there.


@Ali29 Yes that is exactly how I felt. He would of loved the after part and been the centre of attention haha. I too could put names to faces from the stories I had been told from him. It felt more like a party which is what he would of wanted x


Thank you all, I think her celebration of life will be exactly what she wants, she was also very funny and had a large circle of friends, most of them are overseas as she is from the USA but my brother is setting up a video feed. Dealing with people so far away and with a six hour time difference has been challenging. I think I’m just hopeful it’s a mostly positive experience. For today I feel ok. The waves haven’t hit much and I’m functioning but the fear comes I think from not knowing what’s ahead emotionaly or in a wider sense. Again thank you all for your kindness. I’m sorry for your own personal loss and hope for better than ok days for us all. ~ Sarah

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Thank you and yes I fear the future too. Your emotions will be all over the place. Try not to think of too far ahead and take each day as it comes.
This forum has been a great help to me personally as it is a comfort to realise what you feel is ‘normal’ when you loose your other half. It’s awful any of us know what it feels like. I hope you get comfort from it too.
I am sure what you have arranged will be perfect x