I thought i was going to have a good day today been up to.my brothers today and had lunch with aĺl of them which was lovely then had ome home new it was going to be hard coming into the empty house symdrome and it was i have been in tears ever since i got home i was talking to my sister in law and asked her about would she miss my brother she said she was looking forward to a bit of peace and quite i said to her no you would not like it it is awful i used to think like that to as my house was so busy with 8 carers 1 night sitter and a team of distirct nurses everyday so i dod want a bit of peace and quite and thwn.paul passwd away and i got that peace and quire that i hated having ans what a price i payed for that did i want to lose paul no i did.not and i did.not.know.i would.lose everything it is.so.deadly quite no noise now no hustle and bustle.any more and no.paul.the one.person i needed the most gone from my life forever i cannot stand the pain that goes with all if this i just need him so.much i wish someone could.underatand how it is.that.i.feel i.need him to cuddle me and tell.me its ok even although i know it is.never going to.feel rhe same ever again i feel lije i am the one that has done something wrong i life and now this is my punishment nobody to talk to and tell all of this to or even cry with i need somebody to just sit and cry with ans try to help me is it a lot to ask
I feel your pain my darling Simon was Christmas he loved it we had our 2 boys and partners every year this is my first Christmas my boys are downstairs i keep coming up to my bedroom and crying I have been in kitchen for 2 days when Simon was here I used to moan when are they going home I was shattered and needed peace the last 2 days I have hidden my pain from them they said Christmas was better then they thought because I was ok if only they knew. I hate the thought of just me going into a whole new year without Simon I said to myself I will make it to Christmas then no more I can’t go into a new year without him groundhog day crying and pain but I don’t have a choice but he told me to be strong in front of the kids I have done that when they go back today It will be soo lonely but at least I can let the pain out and really cry
You have done nothing wrong,i feel your pain ,i lost my husband 2 years ago to cancer ,try and think of the good times you had together ,doing this helps me ,you are not alone,there are some good people on here
I must have done things wrong to be left here without the live off my life and have nobody to talk to about all this pain that i feel everyday my phine went so silent when paul left and its the silence i can not cope with i have always been chatty and now there is nobody to chat to this is to much to bear