Just realised today that on the 10th jan 2026 it has been 51yrs since i met my husband paul it was a blind date and what a blind date it was that was the night that we both fell in love with each other and this guy changed my life.forever gave me everything and loved me for me we got married in july 1976
And i never looked.back i had.44 wonderful years.with this.guy and we where so.much in love , that when he passed.away at 65 i was devestated what was i supposed to.do.now without him and i still do not.know.how to.carry on it is such a loss i know.everone on here have lost someone but i feel i am on my own with all of this i feel there is now one that actually feels like me you always think how can they now.how.i feel they do not know me or paul and they cannot feel the same as me i feel there will never be that one person in this life that will feel like me or ever understand me how can they paul understood me he got me nobody else ever will get me or ever understand me its so bloody hard.living in this.world without him i wish at christmas every year that.i could.have a christmas.wish just to have some more time with him but thats.just a dream not reallity but i do.not.know how to get.used to this.life without him been trying for 5yrs and still no further on there is no.magic pill to ease.the pain or make me feel better cannot take meds to lift my mood due to.my epilepsy meds this is so crappy this life and what i get for loving paul so deeply if there is a god out there then thank you , you have done me no favours at all you have left me alone and so lonely was that the plan all along
It has only been 4 months since loosing my beautiful husband. We were together for 45 years.
I’m sitting here on my own. Just don’t know how life can get easier.
I could call any of my friends (my family have been useless), to say I need company. But one I don’t want to spoil their day , because it does, let’s be honest , and secondly I don’t really want their company I just want his. We were so close, glad of friends visiting us but was always glad when they went home.
We use to say before he became ill we would be totally on our own if one were to go. Just silly words then but now I am living it for real. We didn’t have children, not that’s a guarantee of comfort.
It is a living hell and like you, can’t see what we did to deserve this. I think we were caring, good people. Never did anyone any harm toddling along in our little world.
I know how you both feel , I lost my husband 3 months ago .It was a sudden death it’s hard to come to terms with. And get used being on my own He was only 64 and we’d been married 36 years . We had so many plans that sadly won’t happen now.
Thats what i miss the plans we had talked about next year as on the 24th july next year would be or 50th yr anniversary and we said we would have this big party in a posh hotel all our families.would be.invited and it would be a great time we never thought he was going to die that quickly and i would be on my own so now i have to face that day all on my own and i dont know how i am going to get through it i know its going to be tough but.i have to.face it i thought of going to bridlington but i always went ther together then thought of benidorm again went there with paul i cannot think of anywhere we did not go together and it would be to.hard so.i do not know.what to.do.on that day
we had holidays planned for next year which I have cancelled .As there was no way I could get there . I feel when I am strong enough . The place s I go to will have to be different . Than where I went to with my husband .
Its so sad that all the places that we went to with our loved ones we can no longer go there its so hard before paul passed.away we went ot bridlington fro the day with two carers incase we needed help he loved it and he stayed awake all day i have not been back since then i just cannot face it they where my last memories that we made going out there we where foing back for his 66th birrhday it was all booked.with the.carers then paul took poorly and ended up in hospital when the doctor told me what time we had left i wanted.him home as i had made a promise to him that i would not.go.back.on so he came home.on the 1st september and passed away 1hour later 12days before his birthday and day out so i just feel it would be to hard to do and being on my own even harder this is so bloody hard and so shitty this situation we find ourselfes in
I am so sorry to hear what happened to your husband . My husband passed away suddenly heart attack while we were on holiday in Scotland . There was a lady who owned the cottage who lived next . She was a great help to me I will never forget her . It all the little things we miss like the chats we had , having a meal together . And spending time together . It’s hard to know what the new normal is .
I know how hard it is i dont know what the new norm is , i dont even know how to make new freinds thats if i want any this norm i am in is scary and has been for a long time now never knew i could feel this vunerable and how am i supposed to cope with that not.sure at all .
I know it’d hard and difficult sometimes you have to push yourself to things you might not want to do . My gp has suggested I go to something called talking tables which is a place for lonely people to go to . Is there anything like that in your area
We only have bereavment cafes and i do not want to go and show myself up by bursting into tears about all of this i dont think it will help me at all and i suffer from panic attacks which my gp knows about i just feel so lonely and vunerable even after 5yrs .
I am sorry to hear that , I haven’t never had pant attacks myself . One of my friends had them , I know how hard it can be . She is ok now it took a few years to get them sorted.
They are horrible i have to take my car to the garage tomorrow an i am in a panic over that i have to drive from leeds to york and be there for 10am its a brand new car and leeds are being funny with me because i bought it in york right now i feel as if the whole world is against me thats why i need paul i wish i could control my panic attacks .
I hope all goes well with your visit to the garage today . We missed our husband’s for the surport they gave us in things like this .I don’t drive my husband did all the driving I miss not being able to to get to places because I don’t drive .
I am stuck at the garage niw and its cold today , i sm glad i can drive that is something that paul taught me he had a lot of patience and i was grateful that he took the time to teach me in his company car he worked for a good company that insured me my huusband got on with the ceo of his company so.made it very easy its such a shame you cannot drive it gives you a bit of independace my stepmum is the same she does not drive my dad tried to teach her but i think she just did not want to learn you know you are never to old to learn if you wanted to that is i actually love it bieng out in my car its just getting me out hope you are having a better day .
A few people have said I should learn to drive . I did try when I was 30 it didn’t go to well . Not sure I could do now I am 70 , it’s also the financial situation as well . I have been out with my dog this morning . Trying to keep busy . Taking the Christmas tree down the last bits of Christmas down . I am glad nearly over just New Year to get though now .
I know what you mean about the cost paul apyed for me to go out with a driving instructor in the very first and my lessons where ÂŁ5.40 each lesson then he took me out and it cost nothing so i was very lucky and when i passed second time he lenf me his company car while he was off work sick then he had to buy me a car so i have had a.car since 1991 and i could not live without it now , i know what you mean aboit new year its another night to get over and me being scottish we celebrate hogmany so big but now its just me its very strange and diffirent now .
The cost of learning to drive is a lot more expensive then in 1992.Also the cost of the running a car . My eldest granddaughter is learning to drive .Scotland is a lovely place we have had some good holidays there .I don’t think I will be going back anytime soon.As that is where my husband died . I am also on my own tonight, with my 2 dogs for company .
I am so sorry to hear that your husband passed away in scotland i orginally come from glasgow but my dad and stepmum live in lockerbie now my dad passed away two yrs ago so just stepmum up there , i am also on my own tonight its been like that for 5yrs now and it still feels like yesterday this is when i miss him so much as you will miss your.husband this is such a shitty thing to be going through .
