Hi
Well I have done my shopping so here goes to go home the hardest part of it all knowing he is not there and I have to face it all on my own I can feel the tears coming I don’t want to go home there’s nobody there what I am going to do I have to go home this is so horrible I want to be able to smile again and be happy but I don’t know how to do that I want to make paul proud of me but I cannot do that at this.moment in time
Sarah 
Hi Sarah
I’m sure Paul is proud of you. He will want you to have the courage to carry on. It isn’t easy but there are plenty of people out there to help. It is really worth trying a bereavement group and if one doesn’t fit try another. I started at one and although it isn’t easy I now it helps to get out talk and share. I hope you find the strength you need. Stay strong for your loved one.
Tom
Yes, usually I’m ok when I’m out of the house if I can motivate myself to go. I hate coming back though, as it’s so empty and lonely. I can feel that dark cloud enveloping me as I walk up the road and the drive. I feel I’ve regressed a lot these past couple of weeks. Just sitting here crying mostly. My sister’s coming down tomorrow so I’ll put the mask on again so as not to upset her, nothing she can do or say that will make me feel better anyway. It’s is nice to have some company for a while though..