Hi
I think I have made a decision as to bieng on here it’s great to put you feelings down on here as I have nowhere else or no one else to tell them to I maybe should have kept it all to myself people don’t want to hear your story or you moan on about it people say to you you drag them down with you well that was not my intention I just thought this was a site to put my feelings on you know it’s been a hard 5 yrs for me but that is my problem I never expect any one to answer me unless they feel they want to and it might help I know I don’t have any friends but it’s hard for me to trust someone I have been let down in the past by people who I thought where my very best friend where are they now when I need them they just leave I feel so happy when I am around people I know and then they think oh she’s better now and leave and that’s when I shut myself down I think where is the point I try I do put myself out there and this is what I get for it where they shut me out and I feel so lonely again I do keep trying with them but when they won’t get back to me what am I jsupposed to do you know it would be nice to have one loyal and truthful friend that would be there no matter what but that’s never going to happen for me I am do open honest and trustworthy and I do not know if that’s my downfall I just don’t know anything anymore I do know one thing I am heartbroken when people talk to me then all of a sudden stop I just need a true and honest person to tell me what is it that I do wrong because I must do something wrong yes I must I just need some help and guidance please
Sassychic
1 Like
Please continue putting your feelings into your posts. That’s what the site is for. Sometimes having friends to talk to doesn’t take away the feelings of loneliness and desolation left by the loss of a partner. I find friends sympathetic but they seem to think I must be feeling a bit better now after only five months. Until they’ve experienced the loss they really don’t know the depth of feeling it causes. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. There’s no time limit on grief, were all individuals. You’re entitled to feel sad and lonely after five years, feelings don’t change just because others think they should. Many older men and women find it difficult to find new friendships after the loss of a partner. To be honest I don’t see myself ever being remotely happy again. I keep on asking God why he did this to my partner, taking him at age 66 and leaving me desolate. Were we bad people ? no we weren’t. So far he’s not given me any answers. I’m having a real crisis of faith at the moment. I probably put people on a downer just now as my posts are pretty dark but that’s just how I feel, so I do understand where you’re coming from.
3 Likes
Hi norma1
I have just read your post i am feeling so.low at the moment but I feel putting it on here will only bring people down and I do not want to do that not at all but I cannot seem to feel any different I.to think I must have done something very wrong in this life to end up with no husband nobody to share the nights watching the boring telly and having a coffee with where did I go wrong all I wanted was to have him here with me is that so.wrong my birthday is at the end of the month and I am missing him taking me out for a meal buying me flowers and of course my card I miss his smile.and how he could make me feel.so much better I don’t think there is even another man in this world that can make me feel like that ever again but this loneliness is not what I want either it’s a very strange and lonely place to be in and that is never going to change all I can think about is I want to be with him safe and happy I am not safe or happy here
Sarah
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Dear Sarah
You are saying what a lot of us feel, it’s scary being in your own. I want my husband back so much too, I wish it were a bad dream and I’ll wake up. Please keep posting, I’ll always answer if I see your posts and think I can help. Sometimes I see them and intend to answer but when I go back I can’t find them again.
Sometimes I feel so miserable and desperate I think I’d better not answer because I’ll only make someone feel worse.
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Hi Helen 39
I don’t think I can keep doing this is have been hurt twice now and I can take no more emotionally you know when I lost my husband I never thought let anybody hurt me and what happens I get hurt twice I am so fed up of bieng here I just want to be with my Paul now so as I cam be happy again I really don’t think I can take anymore I have had enough now please god if there is a god let.me go.and be with Paul now
Sarah 
Sarah please ask for help. Go see your GP and tell them how you feel. A short course of something to help you sleep and maybe counselling will help.
There are good people out there, we have to find them. If you sleep better that will help. We are all nervous wrecks without sleep.
Also please try rescue remedy. If I feel I’m panicking it does help me.
Hi Helen 39
I am having counselling but I still feel the same there is no meds i can take and I am so fed up now there is no point to this life not on my own I cannot do this on my own I know I need to be with Paul to feel happy and safe if there is any nice people out there but they are never going to like me as I must be a terrible person I am going to go to my bed now and cry myself to sleep if I can and just hope that’s.all I can do nobody cares what happens to me they never did and it’s took me all this time to realise that
Sarah x
Sarah put the TV on or search for something on your phone to listen too. I’d be like you if I didn’t distract myself at night. Focus on something and try not to think. If you get yourself in a state you’ll wake feeling even worse.
Hi helen39
It’s bot going to help tonight not with my frame of mind tonight to much going on friend now ignoring me and got to se my brother on Friday to sort out why he is not speaking to me since last November when I drove us up.to see my stepmum and he just kept on snapping at me while I was driving and it did not stop when I got to my stepmums he kept on going all night long even when we went to get something to eat he payed and then said she can pay tomorrow night she never puts her hand in her pocket for anything that is not true I have bought him plenty of things but never say anything he even carried it into the pup and told me to get up and go to the bar myself then when we got home I asked him to take my case upstairs for me pleas and I got told to get of my fat arse and do it myself this was the last straw I could not take anymore I was in a state so I left the house which is my dad’s home and went to a hotel I had , had enough they never even rang me the next day to see if I was OK and where was I so I txt him for him to say my stepmum was worried about me so worried she never even rang me I did go back to the house as I would not leave him stranded that’s not me but we have not spoke since we came back and just when I need my friend to talk to he does not want to talk to me what have I done am I really that bad a person I thought I was the kind giving and caring person who would help anyone but no these two people make me think I am the most horrible person in the world and they must be right that’s why I am still here and not with Paul I need to be with Paul now I cannot take this anymore I am dreading Friday and have no one to talk to please somebody talk to me and tell me what am I to do is this.always going to be like this
Sarah
I could have written those words myself as they’re just how I feel, and I’m sure others on the site feel like that too. At five months into losing my partner I feel I’m getting worse. The thought of years ahead of me without my lovely partner fills me with dread. I’m really trying to be more positive but fighting a losing battle just now. Everything is just so difficult. I’m trying to organise garden maintenance but they don’t turn up or phone you back. My partner used to keep the garden lovely but I m not able for that as I m 70 and arthritic.