I am really having a bad weekend withit bieng bank holiday as well we would be at our caravan this weekend and we wiuld be in bridlington today we would have had a lovely lunch then a walk round then go for a coffee then we would go sit in the car waiting for the club to openits called the sailors club we went to play binge meet up with people we had got to know then we would go home to our caravan late it was lovely doing all of that i miss doing that i will not ask my brothers or nephew they are to busy for me then u cannot get gurt by there turn downs so i just stay at home and cry nothing makes me happy anymore just to have that one person to talk to watch telly with or even moan at its all gone i never thought i would be this lonely old woman thats how i feel today and the rest of the weekend .
Sadly there are no knights in shining armour ready to ride over the hill to rescue us from our grief,it really is up to all of us to either accept our situation or make the effort to carve out a new life for ourselves,personally I prefer the latter, you can only change what you can change.
Hello, yes I agree , my husband’s been gone 9 weeks now, and its been very difficult dealing with his loss, and I can sit here all day in his recliner and cry my eyes out., and I do sometimes, but the point is that, that won’t be me for the rest of my life, I gotta figure out what to do for the rest of my life. Only we can decide how and when to move forward, baby steps, .take care all, and may God bless you
Hi @Ron11
You posted such a positive post , I am still trying to work the new me out . I keep trying different things to meet new people. Eventually I got to get something right.
Hello Ron, and you will find what you need, because you are making an effort, I have faith in God, and I ask him to please guide me in what direction im supposed to be going, im still lost…35 years of marriage and now I hafta figure out what to do with the rest of my life. God is my guide,. Take care Ron, God bless you
I couldn’t agree more. It’s not what happens to us, it’s how we handle it. Nobody wanted to join this club, yet here we all are. There is no point in trying to live in the past, or control that which is not in our power to alter. All we can do is accept it and make life as good as possible.
Jane xx
Your completely right Ron, we cannot expect someone to come & sort things out for us, family will be there to a certain agree but we are not number one to them, there spouses or children are.
It’s up to us to make a new life, only we can do that, the alternative is complete misery.
I like to think my husband is proud that I’m making an effort to make friends, join clubs etc..after all he lost his life he wouldn’t want to think I’m wasting mine.
Hi @Flower_garden
I couldn’t agree more it is up to us how we move forward. Our family’s support us , they have their own lives . We were no different when our partners were still with us . I think it takes time to work out what is the right way forward for us .
Thank you, I spent thirty five years in the military flying over hostile countries, and too many times I had to deliver bad news to families,I hear/ read people say “ I’m too old to start again” I am an octogenarian next year and I have,God stamped an invisible expiration date on all our bums,so I intend to laugh,love and enjoy my time left,I doubt our much loved deceased partners would wish us anything else.
Well said Ron, of course we grieve but as time passes we need to carry that grief with us & find a way forward that brings us some positivity in life, it’s up to us to do that & I want my family/friends to not carry the burden of being my all & expecting them to put me first in their life’s.
I hope I get to your age with your positivity & good outlook.
When my time comes I want to be remembered as yes she lost her husband but she became independant & did her best to find joy in life, my worst nightmare would be to be remembered as always crying & demanding/pestering my family be there all the time & sort everything out for me.
After 44yrs of a very happy marriage i do not know how to carve out.my new life without my husband when you have been so happy and so settled thats the but i am not sure off or how to even start i know nothing comes to my door but i am so scared to even think about how or where i start .
Sweetlady,
it’s a Memorial weekend here that doesn’t mean anything to me, because I come from Europe. All the neighbors spend this time with their familles, one of them has at least 10 cars parking in front. I’m here all alone. I spent evening in church, but there were no friends tonight and tomorrow I’ll go back to work. Being busy on Sunday helps with my anxiety torturing me every morning when I open my eyes and my most beloved husband is not here…
Janka
I was speaking to a friend a few days ago and she offered me some wise words. She lost her husband nine years ago and she told me when we lose our partner we have to start a new life, the problem is we do not know what this life looks like so it’s very difficult to find.
Ah, so many advices from so many people and everyone thinks that it’s true. We all have our own vision how to move on with life. You can do what works the best for you, then it’ll be the right thing to do…
Janka
and its been very difficult dealing with his loss, and I can sit here all day in his recliner and cry my eyes out., and I do sometimes, but the point is that, that won’t be me for the rest of my life, I gotta figure out what to do for the rest of my life. Only we can decide how and when to move forward, baby steps, .take care all, and may God bless you
