Losing my husband.

My husband died on the 24th July. He had a very short battle with a vicious Melanoma Cancer.
With the Corvid restrictions I had limited time with him .
My emotions are all over the place.

You poor love. I lost my husband a few weeks ago after just a few days of warning. It is a shock. You don’t say whether you have family and/or friends to help you, but I hope you have.
It is the early hours of the morning (3.15) and there won’t be that many people on here to talk to you. I don’t want to patronise you but it might be better if you try to sleep and come back on here in the morning. It is important to look after yourself. You are in shock. You need sleep and some food. My heart goes out to you and you will get lots of support on here.
Try to get some rest first.

Hi Kate, you seem to have had quite a few losses in your life. This must be so difficult for you to cope with. Please keep talking about how you’re feeling if you think that will help you, we are here to help you. If things get too much, then free bereavement counselling is also available, online or over the phone. Sue Ryer and Cruse provide this service.


Yes, my husband’s side we lost a few close together which was tough.
We also lost a baby in 2013, which was very difficult. I feel that I have nothing to show for nearly 15 years of my life, then I feel selfish for thinking that. I am not coping well with the fact I feel sorry for myself if that makes sense. I’ve always looked after other people and really don’t care about myself.
I worked in pallative care so I have seen my fair share of death, but this is totally different because I love him.
I try keeping busy but I’m exhausted all the time.

Hi Kate, if I had suffered the tragedies you have, you would feel sorry for me, so why should you not feel sorry for yourself? Please don’t feel guilty, you have every right to be upset and very sad about what has happened in your life.
It seems you have always looked after others, but maybe now it is time to look after yourself. You are trying your best to keep busy so you can carry on, and you have done amazingly well, even if you don’t think so, but grief is exhausting, it really is, so please just be a bit more kind to yourself. Do you have any close family to help you? Do you have people you can talk to? If so, please do talk to them. In any case, you can always talk to us here. Hope youe day is a bit better today.

Dear Kate art, I am so sorry for your loss, it is still very raw for you and I can fully emphasise with you. My husband of 38 years passed away 4 June, exactly 3 months ago today. I just feel empty and numb, I do accept now that at least he will not be suffering any more. He fought so hard to stay with us but pancreatic cancer was stronger. I miss him so much, I now have good and bad days. My sleeping is very bad, I tend to want to stay in bed and pull duvet over and try to sleep the day away. But thankfully I have a son and daughter and a granddaughter who keep me sane. Take care Margarita

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