Losing my husband

I lost my husband in December. He passed away due to a brain aneurysm. I struggle to get my head round how life can change so quickly and how can I carry on without him. Life is so cruel and unfair and this is not how i want to live my life.

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Hello Tracy, I understand. My husband died whilst out on a run 2 months ago. We still don’t know why. One minute my life was happy and meaningful, the next minute I was stood on the roadside clinging to my son knowing that my life would never be the same again. (We went out to find him when he was late coming back but we were too late. ) He was only 50 and we had so much more to do. We were together from being 16. I don’t know a life without him. I still can’t get my head around how my life came to this without any warning. It’s so, so hard. Sending hugs

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@TracyT2 hi I am so very sorry for your loss I lost my partner pauline on the 14th April so I can understand this is not a life that any of us chose and all we are doing now is existing its so hard without our loved ones but we carry on for them because they would want us to I don’t know if it will help but I talk to pauline all the time I believe they can hear us you will find support here there are so many of us going through this horrendous journey stay safe my thoughts are with you take care

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indeed. I lost my wife due to a aortic dissection. Very sudden. I said good bye to her in the morning, received her call in midday : a sudden chest pain, I rushed back and got on the ambulance with her, that night she was gone.
In a day’s time my perfect family is shattered to pieces. The best mom and best friend of my 14 yo daughter was gone forever. The girl I loved since high school, the one who went through all the tribulations in life with me all these years had left me. We’ve done no wrong. This is just unfair.
I understand you agony. This pain is unspeakable. Keep safe and take good care of yourself. You’re not alone.

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It does feel so unfair doesn’t it? Why separate couples who are loving and working well together to bring up their children. There are enough split families without splitting up more. I feel so grateful for the time we had but I can’t help feeling cheated that he was taken so soon and so suddenly.

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I feel exactly the same. In this era where true love is so rarely seen, me and my wife regarded ourselves lucky to have one another. Through our love our daughter learn what a perfect marriage should be like and grow up to be an upright and loving person. I thought we have done what all decent people should do. And now she was taken away from me. We were robbed of so many good days ahead. Life is too cruel.
The world has so many problems which ultimately can be traced back to poor marital relationship in couples who in term raise up problematic children. Yet happily married couples like us were split up without mercy. This world is hopeless.

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I always wanted my children to have a stable family life. We both tried to protect them as much as we could. The most heartbreaking thing now is that my children are grieving and I can’t protect them. I can’t do the one thing I have tried to do for my whole parenting life - protect my children from hurt.

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I feel the same. Me and my wife made sure our daughter grows up in a loving family with sense of security; we tried our best make sure she is protected from harms. Yet I helplessly watched her suffer the loss of a mom to whom she was very close, to suffer a pain which is so unbearable. That broke my heart even more.
This morning at 3am my daughter woke me, sobbing. She said she couldn’t help remembering last time she saw my wife in hospital; she missed those days when the 3 of us were so happy together. We cried together until dawn. I felt I failed miserably to be a father.

You are doing your very best. I understand how you are feeling - I feel as though I can’t do what I should as a mother - but it is out of our control. It just adds to the feeling of our lives being out of control doesn’t it? The only purpose in my life now is to try to help my children to have a fulfilled future but when they have seen how fragile that can be I’m not sure what I can do other than just be here.

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the reality is no matter how much we want to protect our children, sooner or later they will come to realize that life is so fragile…
I am a pessimistic man who worry a lot. My wife was just my opposite. She always said I should live for the day because no one knows what will happen tomorrow. She was so right. Let’s not to worry too far ahead. Let’s learn to treasure life even though sometimes it is short and painful. Be strong. My thoughts are with you.

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Thank you. I was always optimistic but now it’s hard to be. Not only did my husband die unexpectedly but several other members of the family are now seriously ill. My husband always believed that you had to make the most of every day - it’s the journey not the destination - but each day is long and hard now. My thoughts are with you and your daughter.

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Dear Jules4

This is exactly how I feel. Incapable of doing what a mam is meant to do. The fact that my husband died on his motorbike causes such anger - I have arranged counselling because it is overwhelming at times. If he had not continued with this past-time we could all still be together. I have to deal with the consequences of his decision every day and just feel totally useless when I see our kids pain written across their faces.

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Thanks.
I’m sorry to hear that some of your family members are not well. It must be really hard for you. Life’s too harsh…
When my wife was there time seemed to pass quickly. Now I struggled to fill in the void everyday after work. I lie down at 8:45pm, trying to delay sleep time to 11pm so I may not wake in the middle of the night which make me feel extremely lonely(often I failed). And I open my eyes every morning hating a long day ahead without her.
I hope you find some comfort and feel less alone on this forum. Sending hugs…

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