Losing my husband

My husband was diagnosed with cancer on the 8 April 2022 4 weeks later my husband had passed away to say I am heart broken doesn’t seem the right wording my heart is crushed I know Raymond has gone and won’t be coming back but my head can’t accept it I am totally crushed I cry every day and ask him why he had to leave me I am totally broken and don’t know what to do

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Good Morning Teresa

I wish there was something I could do or say that would ease your pain and sense of loss. All I can say is that I know what you are going through and although you feel very alone there is community here that at least understands. I can offer virtual hugs!

Take care


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Thank you I have never felt such pain.

The same here, my wife of 33 years passed away on 23rd May, Alison was 53, nothing at all can prepare you for this. Just talking about her brings on the tears.

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everyone on here, most, experience what you feel right now.

Grief and loss are the worst chapters in our lives. the worst.

it is a cascade of different emotions but in no way, allow your mind to torment you with guilt, regret or anger because the sadness is enough. meaning, take it easy on yourself.

like many, I exited from life for over a year. I could not take the world … loud and obnoxious as in grief one is very sensitive.

Teresa please take a small bit of comfort knowing most posters on here know EXACTLY what you are going through.

Myself included. You will have days in the future when you will feel in time that you are doing ok the wham it hits you like a train, honestly some days the pain almost goes so have that hope that in time it eases .

Keep reading folks journey on here , I felt I wouldn’t be around long , I just needed to tell my Mandys story then I will be off but no I stick around as certain feelings I have get answered on here .

This is a grief like no other, it’s going to hurt .


Hello Teresa, I am so saddened to hear of the loss of your husband so soon after his diagnosis. It really is heartbreaking, heart crushing, and the pain is physical.
I recently read a poem that says when you lose someone you don’t just lose them once, you lose them again every time you open your eyes in the morning. I can’t offer any promises that the pain will ease but I hope it helps to know that others are here for you any time.
That knowledge has certainly helped me in the last seven months since I lost my husband.
Take care and be gentle with yourself.
Kath x


Thank you xx

I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. My husband died three years past January. grief is the worst and saddest feeling. I try and look at the positive fact that we had 33 years together.( I was 18 and he was 27when we met ). But in all honesty I mostly feel cheated of all the future we didn’t have. But I am still here despite the days i felt I couldn’t survive. Nothing anyone can say to make it go away but please know you are not alone and very much understood.
Sending love.

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Thank you, I didn’t realise how much I loved him until he was gone and now I don’t now what to do my heart is crushed in to millions of pieces

Hello to everyone on this thread,

I totally understand and relate to what you all have said. It is a journey none of us wanted to be on. My husband died five months ago and I still can’t believe he’s not here. We were together fifty years and I am lost without him. Every day is such a struggle. I agree with what you said Gingerkitty about the line in the poem about losing them again every morning when you open your eyes. It still startles me and I feel sick. I’m sure I will never get over this. I can’t see a time when I will feel any different.

Sending hugs.x

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I had the opposite off my wife , I didn’t realise just HOW much she loved me , I mean we talked about it of course and I knew she loved me completely but things she wrote for me knowing she’d be leaving me we beautiful and heartbreaking.
She knew how much I love her and always will regardless of my future .

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I’m sat here crying my eyes out I want him back so much I don’t know how to cope

Hi Teresa

It sounds like you need to talk to someone right now, you could try Cruse Helpline



Hello Teresa

I am so sorry about about Raymond and how you are feeling. I have been where you are now as just over 13 months ago I lost Ian after a cancer diagnosis. We were promised a year but he was gone in seven weeks…….

This site has been so supportive to me and has really helped especially in my darkest moments. My advice would be take each day as it comes and that is something I still do after all this time. Cry and scream if you want to and post as often as you feel the need. You will always find friendship and support on this site.

Everyone grieves in their own way and time and so do what is right for you. Please feel free to private message me if you feel it would help.

Take care of yourself,
X Julie


Thank you I done my own memorial in my garden which I can go to I talk to Ray all the time I have photos every were I miss him so much, thank you for your kind words
Love Teresa

I to lost my husband in August 22 - what you are describing is how I feel on a daily basis lost, alone, anxious and scared of the future. Not one day has passed where I have not felt at some point overwhelmed. The feelings are not as intense as at the very beginning of my loss and I can cope with them I feel a lot better. In time this hopefully happens for you but I don’t think you ever get over it especially when you have been with your husband, wife, or partner for a great number of years. It’s hard travelling down the road of grief and there is so many issues to face along the way. Let us all hope and pray that we all can reach a stage of peace and contentment with our memories and be thankful for the years we have spent together with our loved ones. When we are not coping we should reach out for any help available. I keep a diary and write my thoughts down on a daily basis and it has helped me tremendously. When I look back I can see how far I have come and it gives me hope for the future.

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I still send my husband messages and then sit and read them all I am so broke I really don’t know how to cope. My kids have helped a lot and I have got some wonderful friends but I just want my husband back

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Hello Teresa

We all know so well that feeling of wanting our husband and life together back. It’s been 13 months for me and I still wake up everyday wishing it could happen. Like you, I message Ian, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I tell him what I’ve been doing and how much I miss him. It helps and keeps him with me……

Look after yourself,
X Julie

Hello Teresa,
I am so sorry very for your loss of your beloved Raymond. I lost my darling husband Paul 10 weeks ago today. We met at 17 and it would have been our 48th Wedding Anniversary 3 days later.
I never stop crying and go to sleep looking at his photo and awaken to wish it was a bad dream.
I pray l will someday feel a little easier but feel so heartbroken and lost. I adored him and he was just retiring after working hard all his life. I hold. Him close in my heart because he may have left this world but our love will never cease. Neither will yours.
You are in my thoughts and those of many others.
Sending Welsh cwtches.