I lost my husband nearly 16 months ago and the first year it seemed like I was in shock and just going through each day but now it is reality and it is such a deep grief! People say to me that I have ‘turned the corner’ but inside the sorrow is unrelenting. We were married for 52 and a half years — three children and three grandchildren— all living nearby and so supportive. Friends and neighbours are marvellous and I am very fortunate but there is always one very important person missing! I’m still in disbelief.
I think that for many of us on this caring site the same pattern has emerged. The first year you are in disbelief as I think it’s the minds way of coping with the trauma of losing your loved one. There is so much to sort out with the funeral and paperwork and so forth that it’s a distraction for the mind.
Then for me reality kicked in some time after and I realized the love of my life had gone and I had to try to come to terms with it which I have found very difficult at times…
Other people often say how well you are doing but that suits them better than you as until they are in the same position they can never truly understand the heartache
that you feel.
You had a long marriage as many on here have had and when you think that 52 years of your life was spent with one person that’s a lot of time.
I’m glad that you have your supportive family near by and that they can be there for you.
I’m not sure if this is any help to you but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with your thoughts.
Keep posting as we’re all in the same boat on here one way or another.
Love Jenny x
Dear Dorrie and Kingfisher
I am just over two years of loss and still I feel the utter pain of the loss of my soulmate who I was with57 years, 54 of them married, Friends have said to me that I am doing well and occasionally I think I am but I know deep down I’m not and never will be whole again after such A terrible loss so now I have to live with this hole in my life which one day I hope will not be so painful. I hope we will all find peace in our lives. Best wishes to everyone in pain.
Hello all it is a physical pain like no other. I’ve tried explaining it but just can’t. I have people here in our house now but the emptiness is palpable. I feel like I’m drowning.x
@Loobyloo2 it really is indescribable and hard. Surrounded by people but completely lost and alone. The physical pain and the emotional meltdown afterwards so intense. Thinking of you and sending love and support