Losing my husband

I am lost and broken! It has been 6 weeks since my husband died and it doesn’t feel any easier, if anything every day seems harder as it is a day further away from our life together x
We met in 2016, got together in 2017, moved in to our dream home in November 2021 and got engaged Christmas Day 2021. Our wedding was booked New Year’s Day for august 2022 and in June he was diagnosed with bowel cancer! Originally small and operable but after an operation in July we were told it was stage 4 and incurable! We had a lovely wedding and then the next 6 months I watched him fade away in front of me, chemo and operations and hospital appointments to be told there was nothing more they could do! He went into a hospice on 28th December and died on the 5th January! I feel like I died with him!
Everyday I exist and function to look after my kids and the dog but I don’t want to be here! Everything feels so pointless! I just don’t know how to cope, I just don’t know how to do life without him!
All our dreams, our future snatched away and I just want to go to sleep and not wake up!

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You have been through so much in those years @Edwards77 it must seem like a nightmare. It is understandable that you are feeling worse as the reality of your loss seems to become clearer after the initial shock I think. It takes a while for us to assimilate the loss as real and in a way I suspect it protects us a bit at the beginning.

Keep posting here and I’m sure you’ll find plenty of support from others who understand what you are going through.

Sending love
Karen xxx

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I am so dreadfully sorry for your loss, @Edwards77. What an awful time you’ve had. You hit the nail on the head when you say every day feels like a day further away from your life together. I feel exactly the same. I worry that I’m leaving him behind but, in actual fact, he is with me the whole time. He will never be left behind. You are in the very early days and everything is going to be unbelievably difficult and seem pointless. I’m sorry that you’ve had to join us on this site but I’m so glad you found us. Everyone understands your pain and will support and help you. Keep posting and reading. It’s been a God send for me. Big cuddle to you. Jean x.

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