Losing my lovely vanessa

6 weeks ago I lost my loving Vanessa suddenly and I am finding it difficult to cope on a day to day

Hi Jar1453,

Welcome to the Sue Ryder Online Community. I’m so sorry to read about the loss of your lovely partner Vanessa. Your loss is still very recent and raw and it is understandable that you are struggling to cope. It sounds as though it was completely unexpected, so it must have been a huge shock.

I’m glad that you’ve found our site and I hope that it helps a little bit to be able to share things here. You aren’t alone on this site, there are lots of others here who know what it is like to lose a partner. You should get some supportive replies soon, but in the meantime, you may be interested to read and reply to some of other people’s posts. For example, take a look at this recent conversation between Christopher, Colin P and Ravinder who have all lost their wives: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/i-feel-so-guilty-be-alive-when-my-partner-dead

If there is anything I can help with, or you have any questions about this site, just let me know.

Hi Jar im very sorry for your loss.Have been to see your gp (i did and im on medication ) Also theres Cruse bereavement .And theres the samaritians (i phone them quite a lot and go to cruse as well ) .Take it day by day try and get some me time ie watch a video or youtube or something else that takes you away from reality .Because your brain needs release from it to gain strength to the return of your nightmare ,Try and get quality sleep (i got sleeping tablets from gp for a short while ).Also try to eat it will help .Dont be a stranger on here keep coming back we are here to help .Others and I dont mind private messages so i say go for it if that suits you better .All the best for today and the future Colin (im 57 my wife was 41 she passed 04032016 on her birthday )

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband 15th jan.I too found it very difficult to cope. I was always dead set against medication but I needed help. My GP gave me antidepressants and im waiting to see a councillor. My husband was my life we done everything together he was 56 at Christmas and im 48. We had so many plans this year. He died after being diagnosed with brian tumours only 7 weeks before. Im still in shock and can’t believe he has gone.The medication has helped me do everyday things without breaking down so much.I still cry everyday but its not as intense. I still feel very lost and try to keep busy. I feel very lonely at times because everyone else is getting on with their lives.
My heart really goes out to you.

I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your partner. I’m 2 months into this nightmare. I lost my fiance suddenly on the 2nd jan this year he was 43 he had chronic illnesses but he died from broncho pheunomia which was a shock. He collapsed in front of me & i had to do cpr but it was to late. We were going to get married on the 10th june this year & had so many plans also. It has absolutely destroyed me & i find it hard to cope & shed alot of tears. Thinking of you & please take care xx

hi really sorry to hear about your Vanessa its a natural process what your going through i myself lost my darling hubby 9 weeks ago and understand totally what your going through if you need to talk i am here

Thank you x so sorry for your loss like you we are both at the early stages of trying to adjust xx

Thank you Jar. It is very hard to adjust to this new life & its heartbreaking as its a life none of us wanted. If you want to chat you can or you can pm me. Take care of yourself xx

I am here if you want to chat at anytime take care x

Thank you & the same goes for you.
Take care also x

Hi how are you doing today x for me very difficult and emotional day just want Vanessa to come home x the tears have been flowing today x

I havent had a good day today. Had tears earlier. I’m so sorry you are going through this pain & heart break. It is a very emotional time for us both. I just wish i could take the pain away x

The pain never goes away. I sit at home as had a day off from work and look at the front door hoping Vanessa will come home x I take the dogs out for a walk but as I go out Vanessa’s car is on the drive which just hurts x I do the washing and no clothes to wash for Vanessa x I never said goodbye and was badly treated at the hospital the day I lost her x I go in the wardrobe I see her clothes and crack up x I cuddle her pj top that the hospital gave me back and that smell of her is comforting x I find that sitting at home alone very difficult x I keep saying why did this happen x I guess for you tomorrow same as today a emotional roller coastal x

Hi how are you doing today x for me very difficult and emotional day just want Vanessa to come home x the tears have been flowing today x

I’m so sorry to hear this. I know exactly how your feeling my days are like a roller coaster 1 minute im ok then the next im an emotional wreck. Its horrible living like this & its lonely. I have my 2 daughters but its not the same as having my partner with me. Its heart breaking & i find the nights are the worst time for me as thats when im at my loniest

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