Losing My Mother


I just found this online community and I thought that I would join. A little about myself, I’m a 40 year old mother of two great boys. One is 19 in college and the other is 9 years old about to head to the 5th grade. I have a wonderful husband and 4 dogs. I have a great life and great family. I loss my mother 11/6/17 after around a year long fight with lung cancer that took over her whole body. Man oh man did that woman fight it, but sadly it was to much for her. I was on my way to see her when she passed away early the morning of. My grandmother was in the other room sleeping when my mother took her last breath. What is making the pain of losing her hardest is that when I last spoke to her we had some choice words with one another because she still wanted to smoke. I would refuse to get her cigarettes, I just couldnt do it. I knew the addiction was so hard. I feel like that was my one last time to really tell her goodbye. I told her the last time I saw her that I loved her and I gave her a kiss. My mother met the world to me, it was only me and her most of my life. My father well, ehhhh he’s another story in itself. Just when I think I’m moving forward than something will get ahold of me and I find myself crying, dreaming about her, nightmares sometimes. I speak about her often to my family and friends. I miss her so much and I just wonder if this is normal to feel as though something just isnt right, something feels off and missing. I spoke to my mother just about every Sunday for years since I left home for the Navy and to begin my life. We would just talk about each and everything, now Sundays are so hard, I feel such a void and at times I fear I may not get out. Grief sucks.

Hi Dalila77,

Welcome to this community. I’m very sorry to hear that you lost your mother last year to lung cancer. This must have been an extremely difficult time for you and your family. It’s quite normal for families to exchange choice words in the midst of illness - it is such a fraught and emotional time. It sounds like you and your mother were close and I’m sure she understood that you were coming from a place of love.

You’re not at all alone in what you’re experiencing and many people in this community are going through something similar. There are a number of posts in the losing a parent category where members have talked about feeling like something is missing and being stuck in a void. When you’re so used to being in a routine with a loved one and that routine suddenly changes it can be very difficult to come to terms with, so we’re here to support you on Sundays and at any other time that you feel in need.

Take care of yourself,
Online Community Manager

Hi Delila77

You are not alone and I love your summary that grief sucks. Couldn’t have put it better myself.

I think of grief like waves in an oceon. They come and go and sometimes take you under. This is a great community though with people who help each other get through the tough days and I find it helps just knowing that unfortunately other people understand.

I lost my dad last May and I have been caring for my mum since who was diagnosed with terminal cancer 6 weeks after my dad died. Cancer sucks too.

Take care and keep posting. It helps me.

Ann x