Losing my Mum after a difficult relationship

Hi everyone,
Wow, I don’t even know how to start. My Mum passed away last February, just weeks before my 20th Birthday after a long battle with incurable cancer. As the strong one in my family, I kind of powered through, helping others and making sure I kept that smile on my face, even though I knew I was struggling. Throughout my late teens, especially after her diagnosis, I pushed away from my family and often spent nights or weeks staying with friends. Unknown to my Mum, I had been hiding my sexuality from her for what felt like a lifetime, and I think I was just at breaking point. However, at the age of 18, and after meeting my amazing girlfriend I finally built up the courage and came out to my mum, who inevitably reacted badly and did not talk to me for several months. Our relationship was very strained after that, seeing each other at family gatherings and the occasional text. However, the months before she passed away, she began to reach out to me and our relationship became one of love and acceptance once again, although short lived. All in all, she died when we had just started to become friends, and I miss her. God, do I miss her!! It felt like she had completely changed as a person, she was not only accepting, but happy for me. But I still wonder every day, was I wrong to come out? I wasted so much time with her because of me coming out, and this pains me every single day. I just wish I could get that time back.

Hi MissAbbie,
I’m so sorry to hear that your mum passed away last February after a long battle with cancer. It sounds as though you’re coping with some difficult questions and thoughts - those ‘what ifs’ and ‘should I’s’ are common following the loss of loved one and you’ll see questions like that often around this community.

I hope you find some comfort in talking to people here and do let me know if there’s anything I can do to support you.

Take care

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Dear Abbie, wow your mum must have been so proud of you. It is brave to come out even in this day and age. Mother and daughter relationships are notoriously difficult and I am so glad that you came together and found a loving peace and respect for each other.
I lost my precious daughter one year ago. she took her own life and left us with her 21 year old son. We have all gathered around him, show him how much he is loved every day and will help him through whatever life might throw at him.
Abbie you sound like an amazing young woman who anyone would be proud of. I should also mention that I have a son who came out 2 years ago so know a little of what you and your mum were dealing with. Sending you big hugs xxx