Losing my mum now leaving my home of 32 years .

Hello My name is Pujaa. I have lost both my parent due to health conditions. I cared for both as best as I could. I am now at a cross road where I can embark on a new beginning and move closer to family. This involves selling and packing my home of 32 years and due to settling some 4 hours away to a place that is all too new to me with different accents and a certain sadness in the air. I have a good job in the place but I still find I don’t want to leave but I also feel my situation is causing difficulty for my sister who has stepped up to help me with the practical elements but emotionally and my mental health is very difficult to manage. I miss my parents very much. I lost my father in March 2013 he lost his life to the C Diff virus, Diabetes type 1, and uncontrollable infections and in the end, he had to be fed through a feeding tube. My mother lost her battle with pulmonary fibrosis - scarring of the lung tissue ages 63 and only stopped working 8 weeks prior to her passing. She was and is my best friend and I miss her so much. I am the youngest of 4 children and the only comfort I feel in being in the home I have lived in for so many years… but I know that I need to move on but leaving this home is like leaving a big piece of my heart and although I know neither of them is coming back and I have the opportunity to live my life I can’t seem to accept leaving my home… and trusting anyone to not screw me over in my vulnerable state.

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Hello pujja

I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your parents. My father died when I was 10 and I lost my mum 3 months ago when I was 33. She died suddenly and unexpectedly.

We are currently in the final stages of clearing out her home, we have to hand the keys back this week.
Now I haven’t lived in the house for 12 months as I bought my own house. But that house is the home I lived in for 32 years. I cannot explain the pain and panic I feel when I think about giving it up. It physically hurts my heart and I can’t catch my breath.

So to an extent I do understand your feelings, it is so hard to leave the home you grew up in and the place that holds all your memories and the only piece of your loved ones you have left. The prospect of moving to a new area must be so daunting for you too. Talk to the people around you, I found by speaking out loud to my sister how I’m feeling makes me realise that I’m not the only one. She is hurting too and that is some comfort.
Take care,
Toni x

Hello to both of you. Yes, understand totally how you feel, from my own personal experience of my husbands parents going which was my husbands childhood home, they moved in when they were first married and past away there. We had a choice to sell or move in, we sold and it was very hard on us both. Now I am on my own, both sons live away and one would love me to move near him. I have thought hard but all the things you both have written are the reason why I am staying put. I also feel we didn’t have children so they could look after us in our old age. It’s not the easiest decision and you need to take time to work out what’s going to be best, no rush. Stay safe. Sxx