losing my mum so young

sorry if i say mam i am from the north east haha
I lost my mam on the 5th of september this year, she died of terminal cancer after a long battle of 2 years.Unfortunately she was diagnosed with cancer when it was in stage 4, specifically primary peritoneal cancer,a type of stomach cancer, and unfortunately in those two years it duplicated and spread all around her stomach and ovaries.I was only 16 when she was diagnosed and it just being me and her living together things were tough with her consistently being in and out of hospital, dealing with symptoms or going to chemo every week.However i knew time was short and i made sure no matter how long she had i would always be there for her. After my 18th birthday this year she was admitted to hospital again, and for the final time, little did i know it would be her last. Due to covid i couldn’t see her while she was there, so we had to improvise and facetime. The symptoms were becoming untreatable at this point and she was admitted to a hospice, as time went on i could finally be in the same room as her and give her a hug. My mam slowly started deteriorating throughout august, and she peacefully passed away on september 5th. I started university that same month and i thought i was coping well, but this month has been the hardest and longest. Watching everyone go home to celebrate christmas or even watching their parents picking them up is so hard, and i know that christmas is not going to be the same. So if anyone shares a similar story to mine feel free to message me. (this is the 1st time i’ve done this and i only signed up today so i hope i’ve done this correct) best wishes to anyone reading this or in a similar position

Hi anna16
I only share the loss of my mum with you. I was 48 when I lost her and she was 74 so we were much luckier than you.
You write so beautifully about your mum and manage to still keep a sense of humour.
Your mum would be so proud. I hope you have family and friends around you that can support you.
When I was 19 my best friends mum died suddenly aged 42. Friends kept her going and then my own dad died 9 years later when I was 27 so I understand about losing a parent while quite young.
Xmas isn’t fun without them but hopefully you can see people and try and have an ok time.
There are others on this site who are much younger than I am who will come along and chat to you. You have done the right thing by joining. It really helps yo talk to others who are going through a similar thing.
Cheryl x

Hi Anna
I’m so sorry for this tragedy in your life. My mum died this January and my dad in May 2019.

I don’t know about you but I’m finding the run up to Christmas hard. I’d normally be talking to mum so much about what we were cooking, what cards we were making and she’d always have a new Christmas craft on the go.

I wasn’t going to put decorations up (we don’t have kids) but then I know hire much mum loved Christmas. The last thing we did together was but last years Christmas tree for her dorma window.

I’m thinking of ways I can remember her and celebrate the Christmases we did have together… but I’ma but lost on what to do… what do you reckon?

Take care and stay safe

Hi Anna

Im so sorry for the loss of your mum, my mum died in January of oesophageal cancer, her fight only lasted a year, although i’m older than you my mum lived with me so from that perspective i can relate to you.

life will never be the same again. the heartbreak of losing your mum is the worst pain ive ever experienced. I started therapy 4 months after my mum passed away as i wasnt coping, i am single so had no one to turn to. the therapy is certainly helping me

my mums birthday was on 5 December and i felt completely lost during the weeks before it. on her birthday i put up the christmas tree as had been the tradition when she was here. i can’t handle having the tree up in the living room so i’ve put it up in the hall.

I have learnt from her birthday that the build up to it was worse than the day itself. I am not looking forward to christmas. we are a small family, it was always my mum me and my two sons. i can’t stand the thought of it just being the three of us but i am grateful that my eldest son can come home he lives 500 miles away.

i think we have just got to try to get through it one moment at a time

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sorry for the late reply, I haven’t received any of the notifications for this post until now ,thank you so much for this reply, and so sorry for your loss, I hope you have a lovely Christmas no matter the circumstances, I hope you have a lovely Christmas, just the way I’m sure your dad would want you to x

Im so sorry for your loss scarlet.I am the same as you, this month has been so horrible for me, even seeing things such as snapchat memories of me and my mam putting up the tree breaks my heart every day.I only just started and finished my Christmas shopping today even hearing the Christmas songs in the shops hurts to listen.
For Christmas this year I seen a post about lighting a candle for my mam which i think will help, as much as people say she is in spirit physically having something there dedicated to her makes it feels as if she will really be spending Christmas with me. I have also collected all photos of me and my mam on my phone and printed them off in Tesco which I will put up in my room tomorrow, which I think will help seeing her face when I wake up on Christmas Day. I hope you have a lovely Christmas and I hope this has given you some inspiration xx

Ahh Anna I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you’ve managed to find some solace this Christmas. My thoughts are with you <3