My mum was diagnosed two weeks today with pancreatic cancer that had spread to her liver. She passed Sunday night and I’m not quite sure what to do with myself. We were with her at home and it was torturous watching her. I can’t get those last moments out of my mind and I miss her so so much.
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Hi Lenny. I am so sorry about the passing of your beloved mum. Such a heartbreaking loss for you. It is only three days since your mam passed and it is so early in your grief. You will be unbelieving and so lost without her.
I say this because that is how I felt when my beautiful mam passed away 6 weeks ago. We had lived together for 60 years. I am lost without her. She was my world. I still cannot believe she is isn’t here with me.
It is really tough Lenny. You don’t need me to tell you that but your mum loved you so much and you loved her so much and that love counts for everything. You will cry. You might scream out in crying at the unfairness of it all. I do this also. It is unfair ,but you do right to cry. Crying does help.
How are you family doing? Are they supporting each other? Well done for posting on here. Keep posting how you feel. How you are coping. Everyone on here has suffered a loss.
I send you Lenny and your family all my love and support. Look after yourselves. Your mum would want you to.
God bless and best wishes .
Stephen
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I know ow how you feel. I lost mum to the same . It had spread to lungs liver and spine. She was my world and its shit right now. I keep going to ring her. And cry all the time.
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It is an impossible hurt my lovely I am hoping it will get better.
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Thank you for your lovely reply Stephen. It is much appreciated. Us four girls, me my sister and her two granddaughters were with her at the end along with my brother. Us girls washed and dressed her which was incredibly difficult but I’m so glad we fulfilled that wish of her being at home. It’s just raw and heartbreaking.
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Oh Robyn….i call my mum every morning at 10am and I think I can’t do that anymore. I’m so sorry for your loss. It hurts like hell doesn’t it. Much love to you.x
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You are very welcome. I am glad to hear that you have some wonderful supportive siblings. It will help a lot when you can talk to each other about your feelings, your marvellous memories of your mum.
These are things that not everyone has. My mam passed away at home after 9 days in palliative care. She was such a beautiful, loving and caring mam.
Mam had the district nurses every day and like you and your family, I was there at her side when she passed away. We were able with the district nurse, to wash and clean mam and put her in her clothes that she loved wearing. Very sad, but like you had this opportunity, we had it too and not everybody does.
I am sat crying desperately as I write this. I send you and your lovely family all my love and best wishes. Stephen.
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It does. Thank you and much love to you all. We too cared for her at home. Its just such a big hole. Xx
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Hi @Lenny1268 so sorry for your loss. I lost mum late February this year and was with her at the end too. It was the same for me, torture watching mum struggle and like you say am still there with her in her final hours. I take comfort knowing I was able to be there and hold her hand, but I just wish I could think of mum before she was ill and not at her last moments. I’ve just come back to work after having 2 months off and I still cry every morning in the car on my way to work. I can’t say I know how you feel because I think grief is different for everybody, but I can say I feel your pain. I can’t say yet it gets better cos I don’t think it does. I just hope for our sakes we can cope with it better in time. I miss mum so much. I don;t think it’s really dawned on me that I won;t see her again. When I get a thought of I’ll never see her again I just break down. I have 2 gorgeous children that mum worshipped and it breaks me to know she will miss out on so much of their lives as they grow up. Hope you find comfort sharing your experience on here, and I’m truly sorry for your loss.
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I’m so sorry for your loss Stephen. I should’ve said this in my previous message but I’m not thinking straight.
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Thank you Phil. I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is hard. They’ve always been there then they’re not. I lost my dad to leukaemia when he was 58 and I was only 25. That hurt badly but I still had my mum.
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Hello Lenny. You mind is bound to be muddled up. Grieving does this and I so sorry to hear about your dad too. You were so young and your lovely dad was too.
I might have said, but having mam when dad passed away meant we had each other. When mam passed away, like your wonderful mum, it meant that it left just us.
You have a great , supportive family. I can tell that from the way you speak about them. You will bring each other great comfort in the days and weeks ahead.
I wish I could rely on my niece and brother, but I can’t really. As I said to mam on many occasions: We don’t see anyone mam, but at least we have each other.
God bless and sending my love to you all. Stephen.
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