Losing my Mum

I have recently lost my Mum who was my best friend as well as my Mum struggling so much with all my emotions

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Hi Walnut, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum, I still miss my Mum even though it’s years since she died, she is the person who has been with you all of your life, has loved and nurtured you, and suddenly that person has gone, it’s heartbreaking, you need to take a day at a time, don’t look into the future, I promise it will become easier, but everybody grieves differently, the only way is to be kind to yourself and bit by bit you will find it easier, sending love Jude xx

Hi @Walnut

I’m so sorry to read that you recently lost your mum. It’s utterly devastating, and from my own experience it’s normal to struggle with the grief and loss. It’s such a huge, unimaginable sense of loss and pain - we lose so much when we lose our mums and it will take time to even begin to come to terms with it. I found that I took things moment by moment in the early days and weeks, and got terrified if I looked too far into the future. Everyone grieves in such a personal way, and there are no rules for how long we grieve or how much. My mum died in February, very suddenly, and it is still so raw and hurtful. I cry a lot, miss her terribly and wish she was still here with me.

There are so many people here who really understand that struggle, and it does help to know we are not alone as we try to navigate this journey of grief. Keep posting and take good care of yourself.

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Hi there

Thank you so much for your reply

Thank you so much it is so overehelming
right now and I feel as though ai will never get theoifh this

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my mum to Covid last year, but it feels like it was this morning. I understand your pain & heartache. My mum was the most important person in my life. I’m totally devastated. I can’t ever imagine this pain ever reducing. I am totally consumed by. X

I am sorry to hear about your Mum and fully understand
your grief, I feel so lost and do not think I will ever get back to any normal life as such a void now with no Mum to talk to and hold her hand and even just simple things like watching TV together, its devastating and you feel as though no-one understands but they do. I cry every day and the pain of the loss is like nothing I have ever experienced before

I can totally relate to everything you have said. People don’t understand. I’m in my 40’s, and was very independent with a strong personality. But this has completely knocked me. I feel people are very critical of me for hurting so much. A part of me died with my mum. They can’t understand why I’m struggling so much x

It is difficult for people to understand unless they have lost
a parent, I was only 11 when my Dad died so my Mum fulfilled
both roles in my life and she was always there for me, our bond
was unbreaksble and that is why it is so hard unless you have had that relationship people just don’t get it, i count myself as being so lucky and privileged to have been Mums daughter

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I can’t imagine it getting better. The pain is immeasurable. I didn’t realise it was possible to hurt this much…

I lost my beautiful little Mum this morning at 5 07am.she was taken into hospital last week with tummy pain and never came out. She was 87yrs old. She was apparently riddled with cancer and put on palliative care 2 days ago.
I can not get my head around this independent woman who went on, being the same person who couldn’t move, talk or open her eyes except in pain. I am 47 yrs old and I feel like I won’t make it in this world without her. It has always been her and me. In 47 yrs there has not been one day in my life I haven’t spoken to her. I’ve also only ever been away for a week for a holiday. We have always lived together.
I thought it was me looking after her but today, watching her die in front of me and coming home to a empty shell of a home, the sad reality of it was her looking after me.
I see no hope or end to this but I just wanted to say, you are not alone. People may say the pain will gradually fade but for me life is just too much to cope with.
Be kind to yourself.

My heart is breaking for you. I don’t know you, but I am genuinely sending you my heart felt condolences. I know precisely the pain you are feeling.
I was with my mum at the end too. I went to the hospital with a mum & left an orphan. My father is still alive, but the relationship is very difficult. He was very abusive to us. Mum was both our parents. I wish I could say something that could help, but I can’t.

I’m just so incredibly sorry. X

Thank you.
My Father was an abusive alcoholic so it has always been me and mum against the world.
I can’t process anything today. It seems there are so many practical things to sort out but I have no desire to do any of them.
I have a very supportive partner and amazing friends. They keeping saying one day at a time but I know once we lay mum to rest that my role I life is complete and I can move onto my next stage to be with her.
Take care

My father was the same. Xxx

Please look after yourself x

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