Losing my mum

My mum suddenly passed away at the age of 47 in November. She was my best friend and the person I confided in the most. I’m struggling not having that person I can turn to every day for comfort and support. The situation has been made even harder as I am still coming to terms with a miscarriage I had in September. My family have been very supportive but I don’t feel I can fully talk to them as they are also going through their own grief. I was hoping that having the funeral would help bring some closure but I feel I am getting worse and the grief is hitting me harder every day.

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Hello Amz
I’m really sorry to have read what has happened to you. We had Mums service this morning after 3 weeks. The strange thing was the day before I felt “lighter” as my sub-conscious was tricking me that I was just on my way to collect her from Hospital to bring home. Emotions really do floor you. I can understand you feeling worse after the service. Many thinks the grief tap gets shut down after that but I felt with my first loss that it was the pressure valve release to a load more grief. There are a lot of supportive people here and when overwhelm gets the better of you just a brief chat with the Samaritans can also be helpful. You don’t have to be suicidal and it may not help - it’s just an option 24/7. Sending compassionate thoughts. x

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Dear amz

I’d like to welcome you on here. I see you have already received support and hope it will encourage you to continue to post when you need help.

I’m so sorry you had a miscarriage and lost your Mum in such a short space of time, and in your Mum’s case so young. It’s such a lot to cope with in one go. The difficulties you are experiencing since the funeral are felt by many, but this is your time to grieve, in your own way and time.
Leading up to any funeral service has tremendous pressure, let alone paperwork and arrangements, so it’s not surprising people collapse afterwards. And, as you will find on here, grief has many forms of expression which may help you.
My thoughts are with you at this time,



It’s hard when you loose a parent I lost my mum 5yrs ago she had dementia, I felt I had lost her twice. I think of my mum every day. When I can’t find something I am looking for I ask my mum for help to find it.I feel this is my way of dealing with my grief.

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Hello Senga
I’m really sorry about the recent loss of your Brother. I can’t imagine how that must feel.
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your Mum several years ago. I lost my Mum in December and she had Alzheimer’s. Im struggling as I feel she was two separate people and my head keeps going between them. There was a time I knew I had begun to grieve before the actual loss and sadly can’t recall it. You have found a nice way to continue the bond with your Mum. I hope I can find a way in time. Kindness to you.

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hi senga

I know how you feel my mum passed away on the 18 january 2022 with dementia, she had the same problem remembering things, she would watch tv and tell us what people were wearing and read out the time from the clock. how have you dealt with this grief for the past 5 years i am finding it quite hard, saddest thing was she remembered her children but could not remember her grandchildren

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I know , my mum was the same could remember us but not grandchildren. My children found this hard. I would take her to get her hair done and she would just sit and look in the mirror as if she couldn’t recognise herself.I hope your doing okay xx

Yes just bearing up, I thought it be easy, but someone who raised you it is hard to forget, as children we know time will come but we will always feel to soon

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