Losing my mum

I lost my mum coming up four years next week I have started to have the nightmare that I had after I lost her she was more than just my mum she was my best friend. It’s coming up to four years and the nightmare seems to have come back and I feel as if what if I had done this or that she would still be here I know that it was her time to go but it dosent make it any easier I’m glad that she is no longer in pain

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Hello @Rhi94,

I’m Seaneen I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mum. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care,
Seaneen

Hi @Rhi94,
My mom passed away 2 years ago from brain tumors. About a day or 2 after she passed, It was a very surreal dream. I dreamt she came to see me, she was wearing a black coat, she said when she passed, there was a little man called Colin, he was there to talk to her about what she’d done in life, & help her come to terms with the things she’d done & the way she’d treated people. Sorry to hear you are having a recurring nightmare, I hope it calms down soon. When I have dreams, even bad ones, I find it helps me to try to interpret what I think the dream is trying to tell me, whether it’s something psychologically about something I’m worried or concerned about, or whether it’s trying to warn me about something, what do you think?

Hi @Rhi94

I lost my mam 3 months ago. I’m finding it really difficult as she was my best friend as well as my mam. I miss her so much. Sometimes I hear her say my name.

Like you, I catch myself blaming myself for not doing or saying certain things and have to seek reassurance from my nephew that it isn’t the case. I take solace in the fact that she knew I loved her very much. But, it is still hard going. I’m surprised how little help there is for the bereaved, especially for people who’ve lost parents. I’ve still been unable to get through to CRUISE. I only discovered SUE RYDER today after noticing a TV advertisement.

You mentioned that it had been four years since your loss and that you had recently experienced recurring nightmares. May I ask you, how you were coping the last few years? Does the pain ever subside? And, what do you believe triggered the recurring nightmares?

Losing a mum is the worst thing ever, I’ve just lost mine, I know what you mean

It really is the worst. Like you, I looked after my mam with no help from close family members. Now it feels like I’ve lost my bearings.

I know it’s difficult but, from your other post, it sounds like you literally did everything you could for your mam. So, it’s not you who should be feeling guilty.