Losing my mum

Hi, new to this group, desperate for some help if anyone can provide any, I’m currently awaiting bereavement counselling but they’ve said it’s a 5 month waiting list :cry:
I lost my mum suddenly on April 4th and I don’t know how to cope, the physical pain I feel is unbearable


Hello I know how you feel. I lost my Mum in March.

I had counselling around 8 weeks after and have recently finished my sessions.

It didn’t really help as much as I thought it would but they said most bereavement counselling advise people to wait at least 6 months for it to be beneficial because we need time to process things.

I find this site helps to some extent though and it helps to know that you aren’t alone in feeling the way you do.


Hi, sorry things are so painful for you at the moment. Loss of a parent is a brutal and devastating experience. It will be all the harder if your relationship was full of love, care and support. My Mum died in January and now nearly six months on I’m still very up and down. Motivation and enjoyment for life has been damaged. All we can do is keep getting through the difficult times as best we can. Mums tend to try and protect their children from pain and suffering. I try to remember that my Mum would want me to get on with life, but obviously it’s so very difficult! Have a read of the posts on here so that you don’t feel alone. Best wishes xx


Thankyou for your reply, I’m sorry to hear about you losing your mum, it really is so so hard… I just can’t see a way out of this big black hole I’m in at the moment, running on next to no sleep and really struggling g to cope! Sending all my love xx

Thankyou for your reply, sorry to hear about you losing your mum too :pensive: it’s looking like it’ll be close to 6 months after losing mum before I’ll get an appointment anyways… I’m praying they help for me as I need something to help me :pensive: can’t continue like this… sorry to hear it didn’t help you, I hope you find that something else helps! Sending all my love xx

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I know what you mean, the pain is indescribable. It’s like no other type of pain.

Counselling did help to some extent as we discovered I need help with other areas in my life to.

You could always self refer to ‘mind matters’ they might have a shorter waiting list.

Or you could maybe get in touch with your local hospice cause that’s where I had mine.

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Hi Teresa here I lost my mum 3 years ago and the pain is still quite raw. She lived with me for 10 years and I miss her company, hugs, love etc
I had a breakdown last year and have depression and anxiety
I find the mornings difficult and I feel lonely if I’m not seeing anyone
Does anyone else feel like they?

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Hi @Jowode

I’m so sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your mum. It sounds as though things are very challenging at the moment, but I’m glad that you have been able to share how you’re feeling here and I hope that you find the community a good source of support.

Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

I also wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that may help you right now.

  • Our Grief Guide is a self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief and the link I have shared directs to a page on the physical symptoms of grief as I noted you said you feel your physical pain is unbearable. Grief Guide has lots of information articles as well as a journalling tool and memory box, which you may find helpful in coping with your grief while you are also waiting for your counselling to start.

Sue Ryder also offers free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat and also Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS.

Take care and please keep reaching out,

(Sue Ryder Online Community team)

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So sorry to hear about your Mum.
I lost my Mum in February and can totally empathise with your feelings.
I am still finding it so difficult to cope, the sense of loss and emptiness can be so overwhelming.
Hard though it has been I have accepted invitations that I didn’t always want to but have found some comfort in being able to involve myself with others even when I didn’t really feel like it. I have found the support of friends helps at least some of the time.
It is a bit of a cliche, but I know my Mum appreciated so much all the time and care I gave to her and all she would want for me now is to live life to the fullest in her memory, and I’m sure your Mum would want the same for you. But it is easier to say than to actually do.

I am exploring the possibilities of counselling also, but it is not proving easy to access any at the moment.

Once again, so sorry for your loss. Hope you find some counselling that helps you and you can start to take some small steps forward.
Sending hugs x


Hi thank you
I had lots of counselling which helped a little. Also seeing a couple of friends but still feel so empty

Warm hugs too