Losing my mum

I’m a single parent to my 12 year old daughter and my mum has helped to bring her up, revolving her life around us so i can work and have a social life. In September 2022 she was diagnosed with lung cancer, however November her lung waa removed and she was given the all clear. She continued to be in severe pain but the hospitals refused to help and the GP kept saying it was a pulled muscle. I could see she was getting worse and worse and went behind her back and approached her nurse to ask for urgent scans. She was still attempting to work as PIP had refused to help her as the doctors told them she was fine. I took her to a clinic for her diagnosis at the end of April to be told she had stage 4 lung, spinal, bone, liver and brain cancer. Her previous ‘all clear’ scan had shown cancer and it had been missed. They admitted her immediately as she was in such immense pain. She never returned home. She died on 2nd June 2023 aged 59. Ive continued to work throughout her diagnosis and spending every other minute with her in the hospice. Shes made me promise to fight the NHS and PIP as they have let us all down. In the last 18 months ive also lost my dad, nanna, stepmum, uncle and step brother. I am now alone with my daughter and the only family I have left is my mums partner. I have dealt with everything alone including the fight for PIP & NHS, her life admin, her funeral and her belongings. Ive done alright up until recently and now im struggling to function. Im so sad to be so alone, noone has visited me since her diagnosis. It was my 35th birthday at the weekend and now I feel numb. Ive broken down at work numerous times and told i need to just carry on. I really dont know where to go from here.


Hi, I’m so very sorry for the loss of your mum, your post made me so sad to read as you have been through so much.

I understand why you and your mum would be upset with the hospital, especially after they missed the cancer on the scan. You did all you could though, you fought for your mum to get checked again and you were right to do so. It must be so devastating for you that your mum wasn’t listened to earlier.

You have suffered so much in the past 18 months and that must have taken its toll on you. I know what you mean about nobody checking on you, I’ve experienced the same treatment since I lost my mum in March. I also don’t have any other family apart from a brother who is just getting on with his life.

This site is a great place to connect with others who are also grieving and truly understand how you feel, it has helped me enormously.

Your work should be more understanding about your situation, you can’t simply get on with things and carry on when you’re hurting so much. Have you considered counselling?

I’m glad you’ve got your little girl to bring you comfort, hopefully you can share your memories of your mum with her in time which could help you both. Sending love x


You have had such a lot to deal with. Have you sought any help from anywhere? Have you spoken to your doctor? I lost my mum in April and am struggling so started counselling (privately as I couldn’t wait) and it’s really helping.
Could you get signed off work and take some time out? I’m not sure how simple that is but however you can make is work, you need to look after yourself. Even if it’s taking time for walks in the country, booking in a massage, seeing friends, anything! Did you manage to do anything nice for your birthday? Sending love and strength.