It’s so hard, isn’t it @Amaya82. Knowing that your happiness has gone. It’s so heavy, and feeling like you’ll never get it back, not really, because you’ll always miss and need your mum. It’s heartbreaking. Makes me feel like what’s the point if I don’t have her to share it with and for support and comfort. It’s very isolating. But what can we do? We must go on without them, they wouldn’t want us to stop. It’s so endlessly sad though Here if you ever need to chat x
I also lost my biological dad when I was 17 he had terminal cancer in the end he didn’t know who I was, my mum and dad divorced when I was about 8 I saw him occasional weekends but he really wasnt a part of my life my mum raised me along with someone I call my dad we moved in when I was 9, I’m now 51 with 2 children 12 and 14 my mum was a big part of their lives and they have dealt with her loss Better than I expected I’m also a sister, I have a brother and sister who are older and sometimes wonder if their is the same as mine as I was the one who visited mum every day, we went shopping, went for lunch once a week, laughed together, cried together now I feel so a lone and can relate to so many of you about the emptiness, that’s how i feel all the time now just empty i still can’t believe she has gone my dad sits looking at her picture everyday hes 91 and i can see the pain in his eyes i just want to cry out but dont want to get upset Infront of him as i know hes also hurting we are trying to face Christmas together but I’m so scared when the day comes I’m just not going to deal with it any of it. I feel for everyone of you I really do especially younger ones who maybe havnt had that amount of time with a parent, I’ve had 51 years with mine and she’s been gone 6 weeks and 2 days, I thought scattering her ashes may of released some of the sadness but it’s just brought home the finalisation that she has gone and never coming back.
4wks and 1 day, hate waking up knowing mums not in this world any more, i dread doing anything, she loved Christmas and family. just want to go pick her up from where ever and I’ll feel happy again.
I feel exactly the same i just don’t care anymore about me, I don’t see any light at the end of this dark tunnel I’m in and the longer it is the further away I am.