Losing my mum

Hi,
It’s my first time posting here so I’m not entirely sure what to expect from this. I lost my mum in March 2023 after she had been fighting the horrible C word. When she got the diagnosis it was so unexpected as she had always been so healthy and never ill. I experienced so many emotions and feelings along with her in her fight. And even though we knew the day would come, I still didn’t expect it to at the same time.

I think I have blocked out a lot of the time after her passing away as I just tried to keep myself busy with arrangements and supporting our family. I never really gave myself the proper time to grieve. Even now I see things that remind me of her and I can feel myself getting sad or angry and I just push it down because I know feeling it would be too painful.

If I’m being honest, I am just still so angry that she is not here anymore. I’m 24! I need my mum, I need her to help me navigate through life and all of the hurdles. I love my dad to pieces and he is my world, but the two of them together were a force like no other and I just feel so lost without the two of them side by side. How is it fair that someone so pure, so kind and so loving had to be taken from us?!
Sometimes I sit here and just want to bring her back even though I can’t and it just hurts so much.

I am so sorry for the word vomit but I didn’t know where to start and I wanted to get some of my feelings out to people who can maybe understand what I’m feeling

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So sorry for your loss I lost my partner to brain cancer 5 weeks ago I have 3 children 25 28 and 34 who have been amazing but it is so hard living without him just try take one day at a time sending hugs your way x

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Hi,
Just want to say I am thinking of you. I lost my mum on Dec 30th 2022 do just a little while before you.
You have done the right thing in taking the first step to reach out and this site is amazing for love friendship and support.
Keep posting bec people will respond and help you. I have found the site to be my lifeline
Deborah x

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Hey @Giraffelover

I lost my Mum on New Year’s Day so just 2 weeks ago. I understand everything you wrote and really relate to you saying how pure your Mum was - I remember saying the same thing when my Mum was first diagnosed in late October.

I spent the day with my Dad today and it was the saddest day trying to do normal things such as eat Sunday dinner without my Mum. The two of them were married since they were 18 - almost 50 years.

I do not know any of the answers yet but all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and hope that one day this pain will be more bearable :heart:

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I lost my mum to cancer in July. Although she was elderly I miss her all the time. I can just burst into tears with no notice. I want her back and I miss her. We used to go out on day trips and holidays, but now I don’t want to go on holiday. I find it terribly hard, even though I have my own grown up family. There are always things I want to tell her, things that would make her laugh and now I can’t. I know exactly what you mean. It is hard.

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Thank you for your reply! I know what you mean, I have so much I still want to tell her. I might start a journal just for letters to her? I feel like it might help if I write the words out, even if I tear it up afterwards. I obviously didn’t know your mum, but my mum always told us not to stop living our lives, she wanted us to carry her love with us everywhere she went. Maybe try and go on a day out and just let yourself feel how you feel. I will be going out with my family on her anniversary and part of me doesn’t want to go but I know it was her favourite place and she will be there with us in spirit. :sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart:

Thank you so much for your reply, one step at a time is absolutely the way to go. I spoke with a friend of mine who said she scheduled in time each week that she would take herself away and just let herself grieve. Look through photos and just let herself feel whatever she was feeling in that moment. And I might give it a go :sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart:

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Hi Lynne,
I am like you. Lost my elderly mum Dec 30th 2022 and I too took her on day trips and holidays. I miss her so much and can’t beat going on holiday anymore
Deborah x

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