Losing my parents

I am new to this but felt I needed to speak to other people who understand how it feels to lose either one or both parents. I lost my mum suddenly on July 16th 2008 suddenly and on the evening of her funeral my dad passed away with prostrate cancer and his funeral was 2 weeks to the day of my mums. Its 15 years this year and I am still grieving but I think people expect me to get over it but every year that passes it doesn’t get any easier.

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Hi I lost my mum 3 years ago and the pain is still raw
Mum lived with me for 10 years and I miss her hugs, chats, laughter etc
I had a breakdown last year and have depression and anxiety
I feel lonely especially when I’m not doing anything on a particular day.
Does anyone else feel the same?

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I lost my mum suddenly at the end of December and there is nothing to describe the loss. Today I went to visit her wee brother in hospital it was where she worked for over 30 years. I was ok till I got there then fell apart. I could see her everywhere with her uniform on as don’t think there is a ward she didn’t work on. She was probably laughing at me as I got lost, its so big and I always asked her where to go and I was there saying mum where are you for my directions. I am not as long as you but the pain is just awful, so sorry for your losses they are special.

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I am too struggling with the loss of my mam and dad. My mam passed 6 years ago and my dad 5 months ago. People have said to me I will have to get over it and live life but it is so hard, I am lost and lonely and I do understand how it feels to lose your parents. I am anxious, depressed and worried all the time. I hope that time will heal but at the moment I am finding it so difficult. Take care

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Keep posting and talking❤️

Thinking of you too. Sending warm hugs x

@Shelley3004 Wow! How did you get through that? Bless you. I’ve not read something so sad in a long time. You poor poor thing. Life must be such a struggle at times for you. Do you think his heart was just so broken and coupled with ill health that this life for him was just so unbearable without her? I cannot wrap my head around what you went through on that day and that you carry around every single day, my heart goes out to you. My Dad died suddenly in 1999 of a heart attack. The bottom fell out of my world that day. My Mum died after a long battle with cancer 18 months ago and I miss her with every fibre of my being. I feel privileged to have been holding her hand whereas my Dad died alone. The hole in my life is huge. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband of 30 years, he is all I have now and I treasure every day with him as life can be so very cruel. I never imagined my Mum/Dad or both would ever be gone from me.

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Thank you Sal I don’t know how I got through it but my husband was amazing and my children were only 5 and 3 so had to keep going although I don’t really remember much about the funerals and i was lucky enough to get counselling but I wonder if I need more.

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@Shelley3004 You must have felt like you were in someone else’s life. How you coped with losing both parents in a month with small children is nothing short of amazing. It makes me feel lucky to have had my Mum for 22 years more than my Dad. To keep talking I find is the answer as it really is a rollercoaster and if you felt counselling helped then take all the counselling you can get. I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t get any easier and time doesn’t heal, it just changes things and we sadly get used to them not being here. My husband lost his Mum at 15, he’s now 50. There was zero support for him in those days but today there’s support for bereaved kids everywhere, it breaks my heart as so many adults will be carrying around unprocessed grief from their childhood. He spent most of his life wondering what was “wrong” with him. He had counseling and it all led back to grief. But just because we don’t cry it doesn’t mean we’re not crying inside.
I felt extremely sad when I woke up this morning and when I read your post my immediate thought was, well if this amazing lady can keep going then so can I. I drew strength from you today, I just wanted you to know.

Thank you Sal
I am so pleased you got something from my story and hope you are feeling brighter. I absolutely agree that we learn to live with the loss like a scar that never completely heals. Thank you for your support too, it made me feel less alone and made me realise I am normal as i think sometimes grief can make you feel like you are not right and you should be getting on with it. Take care

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I lost my dad way back in 1976, he was only 41 and I lost my precious mum only last year. I just think with grief you don’t get over it, you maybe learn to live with it , that’s in my case, I think people who expect us to be over it maybe haven’t (luckily) experienced our grief. Maybe they just don’t know what to say for fear of upsetting you, I love talking about my parents and in particular my mum, we were so close, the loss I felt was just so unimaginable pain but it’s subsiding slowly but I have good and bad days still.
Sending you hugs x

@Nikki63 41! And such a long time ago as well. My husband’s Mum was young too she was only 38, such young ages it’s so so sad. I’m so sorry to read you’ve lost your lovely Mum, it’s an awful club to be a part of. I can imagine you probably felt the loss of your Dad all over again too. Like you, I was incredibly close to my Mum and I feel I’ve lost my best friend too. I miss the simple things like our daily call or laughing at a little private joke only her and I shared, god we could laugh. I went on holiday recently and it dawned on me that I had no one to ring to say I’d arrived safely. It hits you from nowhere at times. My husband has said that the longer we have them the worse it is as the more memories we share and create. There’s something though about the loss of a Mum, it’s not any worse than Dad it’s just different I feel. I completely get you when you say you love to talk about her! It resonated with me as I do too but no one wants to talk about her to me other than my husband. Like you say, people don’t know what to say for the fear of upsetting us but they don’t realise that they can’t possibly upset us anymore than we already are. Hugs to you too x