I just don’t know how to cope, it’s only been two weeks but it seems to be getting worse! My partner, the love of my life died while we were on a family holiday in Egypt. My little boy (6) was there and I’ve been a crazy mess since. I have everyone saying to be strong for my boy but I can’t stop the tears. The first day of the holiday I had a call saying my best friend had committed suicide and was broken or so I thought! Day 6 I lost my world 
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Oh @Jade4
What you went through in those few days! My heart goes out to you. The shock will be all consuming and tears are perfectly natural and understandable and will be for quite some time. I don’t think you need to worry that they will upset your son as you are simply modelling outward signs of grief and giving him permission to be grieving too.
My younger daughter has a learning disability and lives in the moment, much more like a young child. She grieves very differently to me and my older daughter so isn’t anticipating this event or that day without her Dad. Your son may be more like that.
Village friends scooped her up in the days and weeks after my husband’s death and took her off to do ‘normal’ things which we couldn’t have done, but was what she needed so if anyone offers that maybe think about accepting.
In these early days you are likely to be exhausted, in a complete spin and not know what to do from one moment to the next. Do you have family near you or good friends who can help?
Just think about surviving the next hour and give yourself a pat on the back for doing so.
Much love to you.
Karen xxx
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I was treated horribly by the authorities out there, had to stay for another 5 days in the room we was in, fly home with his belongings. Come to an empty home. I just can’t see my life without him or what that looks like. We literally have never been happier. I feel like I’ve been robbed of everything so suddenly. My son’s doing ok, he’s frustrated but I’m trying to keep as much normality as possible. He’s very smart, he knows how he died, in his little mind he is just trying to find a reason why it couldn’t be fixed. He died of a brain hemorrhage so I’ve had to explain that the brain is very complexed. I’m just in a empty void ATM.
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@Jade4 I’m so sorry you had to go through this. There’s nothing I can say that will ease your pain. It’s all too much to comprehend isn’t it. Thinking of you and hopefully you will find some solace in the support on here. My loss was january this year, it’s very surreal. You’ve had a lot to cope with. Ali
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I’m so sorry for your loss 
I’m 38 and I lost my partner of 17 years completely unexpectedly two weeks ago yesterday. I feel angry that I’m in this situation at 38, I noticed that you are only 34. I also cannot see how my life will be without my partner. The house is so empty and life feels so lonely even when there are people around. I can’t even imagine the extra trauma of being in a foreign country when it happened, it must have been terrifying making the journey home alone. I hope you somehow find a way through x
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I am so very sorry for your loss. You are so young and life can be very cruel. I am older than you but I do understand some of what you are going through. My husband died totally unexpectedly whilst we were on holiday in Spain last October. He died in the ICU of the local hospital. The waiting in Spain to be able to come home (I had to wait 9 days as I was able to have my husband repatriated back to the UK) is just incomprehensible. The language barrier just made everything even harder. The arriving home to an empty house just broke me. So I get it I really do. Just take one day at a time, you have been so strong to get through to this point. Your partner would be so proud and your little boy will look back and know just how strong and amazing his mum is. x
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