losing my partner

Hi, I lost my darling husband nearly 8 months ago and feel so lost and alone. We had been together 16 years and married 10 years. It was second marriages for us both. We were so happy, but now i feel so alone. Trying to piece together my life again but its so hard as i don’t know where to start. How do I get through Christmas without him? People say just take one day at a time but the days seem so long.

Getting through Christmas seems to be a massive hurdle for the majority on here. I don’t have any ideas that would be transferable to anyone else. I think that if we could identify what made Christmas so special for people we would probably have a lot of different answers. My wife loved Christmas but it was always important to have children and grandchildren involved. We never had a Christmas with just the two of us. I think the most important thing for anyone is to not spend it alone. Following on from that I would suggest avoiding any of the things that made it special. It’s so difficult to function when we feel alone. I can feel alone in a crowd. It’s like being in the world but not of it.I know we can’t rebuild the life we had and yet, how ever much we cast around, we can’t think of a life we want.
The days do seem so long now, particularly as nothing interests or enthuses us. My best advice would be to avoid thinking too far ahead. My wife died in August and I understand just how you feel. We were an item for 49 years and married for 44.I now realise just how lucky I was.

Dear Ali D, I am so sorry for your loss, losing the love of your life is so difficult to come to terms with. I am just a year on from losing my darling husband, he was a beautiful man and we were so happy together and I miss him more than words can say. I am also wondering how to get through Christmas? Just want to get it over, but that feeling of “just wanting to get it over” seems to be my moto in life at the moment. So many difficult dates to get through. I am lucky I have family to be with over Christmas, but I feel alone even when I’m surrounded by the people I love and who love me. There’s a special person missing all of the time…
I think I know how you are feeling, the days do sometimes feel endless and empty, I agree with you.
I am thinking of you, keep posting, I find it really helps to get all your feelings out and to know there are others who truly listen and understand
Elaine x

Thank you for your kind words. I am new to this so thought I’d give it a go. I too feel alone in a crowd. So many of my friends are now getting on with their own lives and I feel like they have abandoned me. How do you get on with your life when the last five years I have been caring for my darling husband and now he is gone I have so much time on my hands as i gave up work to care for him. I have wondered about going back to work but really don’t feel ready for it yet.My husband always did funny things at Christmas which I will miss this year.

Thank you so much Elaine. I am new to this. I completely understand how you feel about missing a special person…life will never feel the same.
Ali x

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