Losing my sister

My first time posting, I lost my sister in May she took her own life and I am really struggling she was my best friend and feeling so lost. I am really struggling with the pain of losing her just looking to talk to others who are also going thought similar. I find it hard to talk to my family so hoping maybe talking to others on here could help me though this awful time and maybe help others who need to also talk

Dear Wilsons,

It is good to you have come to this site to try and connect with others who have lost someone who took their own life and can understand your pain. I have no personal experience with this particular kind of grief, (I joined this site after losing my parents) but I have read many posts on this sites similar to yours and I hope that someone will reach out to you.

There are two other websites that may be helpful to you. Here are the details:

Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (uksobs.org) has a national helpline (0300 111 5065) and support groups;

The Suicide Bereaved Community (suicidebereaved.org) a new organisation launched this year.

xx Jo


Thank you very much

I’m so sorry to read this, I lost my younger sister in July, it was cancer, she was wrongly diagnosed and told she had a low grade cancer that wouldn’t spread, when she started to become ill they put it down infections, gall bladder kidney stones until it was to late and she bled to death internally, I can even try to understand what must be going through your head as she took her own life, the questions that might be going round your head, what I have found is that the loss of my sister has made something die in me too, not really caring much for others who don’t understand, what I have learnt is thar the grief I feel for my sister is beyond heart sore and sadness and anger compared to the grief I had for my aunt and grandparents which was deep sadness. I hope people do come on and chat with you who have experience what you are going through as its such a sad and painful time, take care


I am so sorry to hear of your loss, the pain of losing a sister for me has be pain like I have never felt before it’s horrific I know you will understand this as you will be going though and feeling the same. Thank you so much for replying to my post it so difficult to talk to anyone as it’s just to painful, I know for me I need to have an outlet somewhere as it’s totally broken me and been struggling just to get though each day so hopefully being on here can help me get some emotions out have others going though the same to talk to. Again thank you for your message and I hope you manage to get some help and support as well from here to take care

To be honest I’m finding the support low, when it comes to the loss of a sibling I notice the focus is on the parents and children if they had any, I’m not saying it shouldn’t but as the sister your life has also been rocked, turned upside down, the person you shared your whole life with, the person you turn to, the person whonlike a second mother to your kids has gone just like that, no warning just the phone call she’s really ill followed by there’s hope then 3hrs later she’s gone, life is very cruel and now as life goes on as normal it makes me angry what lack of understanding people have, there is an attitude of a few months have past get over it but our world has changed and now we need to make a new one where our sisters won’t be there


Hi Wilsons,

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost my little brother last year to suicide as well. It’s very difficult and suicide can be a very stigmatised and poorly understood topic within certain groups / generations.

I think what we struggled with most is this sense of blaming ourselves, and thinking about all the things we could have done. I still think this sometimes, but I also know from experience how depression can make you feel incredibly isolated and like nobody cares.

During the planning of the funeral, we decided that we shouldn’t define his life by the last 20 minutes of it, and I still try to live by that. I try to make sure that my memories of him are not completely tainted by the way he passed, but I still catch myself thinking he’s still alive sometimes. I still think about him every day, and I’m unsure if that will ever go away. Grief isn’t linear (although I wish it was sometimes) and it’s different for everyone. I think me, my parents and my sister all deal differently with our grief, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect them.

I found these forums helpful, even if I didn’t engage with them at first, reading them made me feel less alone. Spending time with friends has also been really helpful, being able to talk to someone who else who wasn’t family, and having the freedom to discuss my brother or not has been a blessing.

As Jo pointed out, sobs is a specific forum for close ones who lost someone to suicide. They have some helpful resources and also run peer support groups I think (although my regional one didn’t run due to covid when I contacted them). Cruse (cruse.org.uk) is another forum with some helpful resources.

I hope some of this helps. I realise I’ve been rambling a bit, so excuse me for that.

Look after yourself and be kind to yourself.


So sorry Wilsons. Your pain is so evident. My heart goes out to you and everyone here who has lost a sibling. I lost my beloved little Sister in one night, after being told she was going to hospital for “fluids.” We were led to believe her cancer was treatable. I was by her side, and will never get the image of her coding out of my mind. I shall never be the same without her love and light in my life. Sadly, we are often misunderstood and dismissed in our grief (as Lean-Mil put so aptly) Society often minimises the loss of a sibling. Thankfully we have this wonderful site and this thread, to bring us together for kindness and support in our time of need. Take care Xxx Another Sad Sibling


My sister was the other half of me as well as a second mum to my two children she was our whole world and my best friend we were so close and it has totally broken me and my children, everyone says you will learn to live with it and things will get easier I just don’t see that happing we have been Inseparable since we were little and a life without her is just An unbearable thought. Thank you so much for your message I am so sorry for your lose and the pain your feeling really hope you manage to find some support in here

Thank you so much for your message am so sorry for the loss of your brother really appreciate your message and for the link for more support take care and again thank you

Thank you for your message and am sorry for the loss of your little sister thank you for reaching out I am so lost and hopefully being on this site can help me even if just a little to speak with others who are expecting similar times take care and again thank you