Hi, i lost my solemate Eddie to cancer April 2024. He had it for 8 months. He held on at the end to meet our grandaughter. I have amazing daughters and work friends, i feel so lost and empty. I got signed off work last month as i had a bit of a breakdown. Ive had counselling. I just dont know how to move forward and start to enjoy life xx
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I feel exactly the same having lost my husband in may last year after being diagnosed in the February.
I too feel completely lost without him and find doing social things where people are in couples excruciating.
I am back at work full time and it does give me a focus and purpose but it is so draining wearing a mask in front of people.
I try not to think too far ahead as it makes me anxious to think of future things without him. I wouldn’t say I was coping but I am surviving day to day as best I can when all I really want to do is be with him.
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@Cheryll75
I am so sorry to read about your loss and the grief you are suffering.
I lost my wife, suddenly to a heart attack, in December 2024 and, like you, feel totally lost without her. I think about her last thing at night before I go to sleep and first thing in the morning when I wake up. I’m also constantly reminded of her throughout the day.
Moving on isn’t part of my plans at the moment. I try not to think about the future because I find it frightening. I just concentrate on getting through each day. I’ve developed routines which help to a certain extent but occasionally I give myself a day off and just sit and read, listen to music or watch television.
It’s a well worn phrase to say that you should take it a day at a time, but that’s all you can do. You can’t force the pace. It’s more a question of getting used to your new situation and working from there.
There are thousands of bereaved people in our situation. I find posting on this website very therapeutic. I can lay my thoughts out in print and that helps.
You are among friends here.
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Thank you both. I just feel empty and lost. My youngest is getting married next week and i should be excited but all im experiencing is dread. I also dont have desire to do anything…im just existed xx
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Our eldest daughter got married in March and I was dreading it too. They had a small ceremony in March which was lovely and a family party in July which was lovely but emotional. You will be fine, focus on the happiness and I focused on how proud her dad would have been. It’s all so hard, never gets easier but we keep going x
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Lost my Darling husband 3 weeks ago . Lost our Daughter Dawn 8 years ago . And I have been struggling . But to lose my solemate , well I think my heart is breaking I cry all day , I try and go out in the car , and I start crying . Everywhere I go reminds me of John . I can’t even look at his photos because it reminds me of all the lovely times we had rtogether . I am booked in for councilling this week , but nothing will bring him back .
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I understand all of you and all your feelings.
3 years for me last Sunday 24th ( and our wedding anniversary last Monday 25th)
I’ve been feeling so weary and weepy the last couple of weeks…
I still work full time, and was 60 a couple of weeks ago … I tell people work and age makes me weary, grief exhausts me…
I don’t think anyone I’ve said that to understands. But I know lots of you will.
Love, hugs and strength to you all
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Absolutely understand. I am so tired all of the time. I’m 59 and still working full time. It gives me a purpose and fills the week but the evenings and weekends are long. 16 months since losing my husband and I am finding it really hard to cope. I feel empty.
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Dearest @Sandie5 ,
Thankyou for you’re understanding.
I’m so sad you are in the same horrible position I am in.
And yes, one of the biggest reasons I work so much (full time + overtime time when I can) is to give me reason to leave the house, fill the days purposefully and hopefully make me tired enough to sleep…
Does it achieve that??? I don’t know !!!
We still have to return to empty homes, on our own,
and my sleep still rubbish…personally I’m still sleeping on the sofa (after 3 years)
The horrible truth is nothing will ever feel right again because our soulmate is not with us, to ask about our day, to share our joy and pride about achievements, and to wrap us in cuddles and love on the more challenging days work throws up.
This is just another aspect of our utter loneliness that NO ONE who hasn’t lost a spouse can understand.
Love hugs and strength to you Sandie5, and everyone else reading
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Dear Cathphil and Sandie , I am so sorry for both the loss of your Darling. Husbands . I’m not exspecting to ever get over it . How could I he was one of the best , although he was 10
Years older than me , he was young at heart , loved holidays , we never stayed in . I know everyone is concerned about me , and are rallying round , it will never replace the love of my life I feel
I am going to die of a broken heart . It’s good you both work to fill your day I am retired as I am
76 . But you like me coming home to an empty house is the worst ever . Sending hugs Maddy xxx
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Hi Cheryl soulmate and the most precious thing in my life after a ten year battle with a very rare form of cancer my wife passed away six weeks ago married for nearly 36 years the anniversary would of been 2 days ago and that was rough unfortunately even though my wife new of our first grandchild’s due date she has not survived to see him we used to go to wellbeing sessions that do crafts to help enrich the lives of people affected by terminal/ life changing illness and they offered a new service taking fabric from your loved ones clothes and making teddy bears i can think of nothing more personal and special to give to my grandson when he is born i too feel the pain the emotional turmoil but know my wife would want me to be happy in my remaining days so i am determined to find the strength to do that and have taken the first steps by registering for grief councilling and joining a gym hopefully its a start to making something of whats left of my life after such a loss i hope you are helped in finding a way forward too my best wishes to you