Really struggling after losing my wife last month after 50 yrs together
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hang in there. It will ease a little. I lost Janine after 45 years in April last year and now have had the odd day when I only cry a little. This place is filed with kind people who understand. Also please have a chat with your GP. they may be able to help a bit. we get you. We understand.
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Dooega12a I’m so sorry for you loss I was 51 years with my husband time for you is still raw for me it’s 10 months it’s a terrible thing we have to go through just take care of yourself and one day at a time thinking about you 
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So sorry for your loss. It’s hard to put into words the way one feels after the loss of a loved one who you have shared 50 years of your life. Totally different to the loss of a parent for example , such emptiness you feel is unreal and it’s hard to think of life without them
Every day at the moment is a struggle where you try and fill with sometimes meaningless tasks .
Just have to keep going as you know that’s what your partner would want.
One day at a time.
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Spending that long with a person you think you’ve got them forever wasn’t always good we argued like everyone but there we were 51 years later 2 Adult children 5 grandchildren 1 great grandson went everywhere together he helped me clean did the cooking what a man he was, he persevered driving although he was in pain with his leg a week before he passed couldn’t drive his car that man was a fighter through and through fought everything that was thrown at him take care
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Sorry for your loss. Everyone on here knows exactly how you feel. I lost my wife last month after 42 years together and feel like ive been cut in half.
Everyones circumstances are different as is how we cope with the loss. For me, i had to get rid of everything that reminded me of how ill she was. I want to remember her as happy and well.
I constantly remind myself that she did not want me to be unhappy and fall to bits .
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It’s still very raw for you. I was married 42 years and it’s nearly a year since he passed. I am living with grief but it takes time. Talk to your wife and us. This is a safe place to verbalise what you feel.
There is no right or wrong it’s about learning to live with grief not fighting it - as long as you love her grief will be there and over time you will learn to live with it. It’s a different life. The tears will become smiles at the lovely memories you have . Give it time. I still have bad days but I accept them , one day at a time. I will always miss him but I have a contentment now. Look after yourself, eat well take a daily walk that is enough in these early days. X
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Plantman I’m so sorry for your loss being on here will hopefully help you it has me just reading people’s stories knowing they are going through the same pain as us and understand how we feel, time is still young for you but I wish you well take care
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Dont be hard on yourself. I lost my husband nearly 2 months ago and we gad been married 44 years. I talk to him every day, and I write a journal, both help a little.
I made a promise to my husband that i would carry on after he had gone, but its hard because a part of me is missing 
. I have to find a way to go on.
Hello paeony I’m so sorry for your loss and its still very raw for you I’m 10 months now and not coping my daughter in law bought me a journal I did start to write in it but after reading your post think I will start again anything to ease the pain, I feel you have a lot of strength there and I wish you well take care
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I write in my journal every day. Sonetimes i just write what I’ve done like in a normal diary, and other times i just pour out my heart to Jim like as if he was with me. I’ve copied on a coupke of comforting poems that i found online. It certainly has helped me. I wish i had done it from day 1, but I just never thought of it. All i can say is give it a try.
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My daughter and I are going to do a scrapbook of my husband Pat about his life since meeting me and getting mattied etc. he was a character and his sense of humour they call the scrap book Once Upon a Time and we’re making it happy not sad with funny captions on top of the photos starting when I first met him in the Army so that’s the first photo in his uniform I’m actually going to look at some poems when we scatter his ashes take care
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It is hard but you are doing well. He would be proud of you x
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I am so sorry for your loss. 50 years is such a long time to be together. We were married for 63 years and I lost him 3 months ago. I feel so lost. Miss him so terribly. Every day is like a nightmare but he would want me to carry on and live life for us both. He would hate seeing me like this so I must try hard to pull myself together. My love and hugs to everyone who are grieving the loss of someone very special to them.
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Hello VickyR I am so sorry for your loss 63 years certainly is a very long time to be together I feel exactly the same as you grief is a terrible thing and I do try like you to move forward but without him it’s so difficult just hope I can, love and hugs too you and all that are grieving you take care
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Thank you for your reply jennison 1946. I send my love and hugs to you too. It is a very hard thing we are going through but I will think of you and hope we can both move forward. Take care. Much love VickyR xxxx
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Replying to Jennison and Vicky.
I was married for 54 years and engaged for the previous 2 years so just me and him for 56 years. He died 18 months ago and I am just still bereft. I moved house too to be nearer to my family. They were only 7 miles away before but now I am 5 minutes walk from them which on paper sounds ideal but their lives are so busy and involved so at my age 81 it is so hard to adjust. I know he would want me to try and pull myself up and would want me to try and be happy but at the moment i feel so desperate.
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Hello Pat91 sorry for your loss I know exactly how your feeling it’s just 10 months since I lost my husband and I try so hard to move on but the grieving pulls me back and the loneliness I plan each day to keep myself busy just looking forward to the day a do feel a little happier in myself you take care andcI wishbyou well x
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I lost my wife in Jan this year after 50 yrs together.
It’s bound to be hard to get by without your lifelong partner there would be something wrong if you didn’t feel awful.
I try different things however one thing that does console me a lot is when I think how so lucky I was to have met my partner all those years ago , a very special person, and also to have had such a long life together.
I know the parting is hard to take for the survivor however think of the good times and really believe that your partner would certainly not want you suffering at this time.
When you’re feeling sad , try and do something to take your mind off things even if it’s just watching a funny video.
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Hi Dooega12a so very sorry for your loss and only just a short time ago when I’m feeling sad I have a kindle and play games on it as well as on my phone and I must admit it does occupy the mind you take care and I wish you well
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