Losing my wife suddenly

I lost my wife Christmas day morning2019.i found her bed not breathing called paramedics but could not save her.u. I am so overwhelmed with grief can anybody help

Hello, Allsop,
Choose what anyone says to you, your grief is so fresh, I cannot think of a worst day than Christmas morning to lose someone who you love. I do feel for you, may I suggest that you read through the posts on this forum, to understand how some of us are coping or not coping, as the case may be. I hope that you find some comfort in doing this.
Blessings,
MaryL

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Hi maryL thankyou for your advice. I will keep reading what people say as I am sure it will help.just in shock at the moment

Hello Allsop,
the shock of sudden death is brutal. It will be a long time before you can take in or even believe what has happened.
It happened to me and all I can advise is take time to grieve for your wife. Don’t rush around trying to keep busy. I often curl up on the sofa just to think about whats happened.
I hope you have somebody impartial to talk to. Family and friends want to help but they have no idea how you feel and often say really hurtful things.
The After Talk website is helpful , especially
Dr. Niemeyer’ s questions and answers.
Best wishes at this saddest of times. Sadme.

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Hi Allsop,
My family is going through exactly what you are. My mom found my dad in the same circumstance as your wife. I know the pain, trauma, and shock that you are feeling. I truly wish there was something to be done to reverse course. I received lots of advice from kind people. Just listen and hopefully something that someone says will be comforting and make sense for you. Be kind to yourself. Grief is exhausting. I found myself sleeping a lot and not eating much for months. You wake up and momentarily think that it is a normal day and then you remember that it isnt - over and over again. But eventually the pain softens, and you will find peace of mind. It feels impossible but it does come. I miss my dad and am eternally sad for my mom.
Ell

Allsop…
…my heart goes out to you as i too found my partner of 20 years age 74 suddenly dead in his armchair 11 th April, but to lose someone suddenly on a Christmas Day morning is just heart wrenching, i truly feel for you her sudden loss…

Jackie…

Thankyou for your kind words.its just come as such a big shock and feels like I will never get over the grief.it was our grandsons first xmas cant believe she is gone

I know what you mean - the grief is overwhelming, it consumes you. I know you will find a more peaceful path in time. How do I know? Because unfortunately, many people have gone through this and have somehow found the ability to go forward. You will too but for now it is time to grieve. I am so sorry for you and everyone who finds themselves where we all are.
Ell

Hi Jackie
As I have struggled with what happened to my dad, I have come across many of your posts. I was too grief stricken at the beginning to participate, so I would just read. My mom found my dad in his arm chair as well, around the same age as Richard. I had a really hard time understanding how an active person with hardly any known health issues, on any normal day, could be in that situation. I better understand it now. I am sorry for the loss of your husband. It is really hard on you, but eventually, you will find your new way in life. Please rely on your friends and family as much as possible, and get out and be active. My mom tries to continue her daily exercise and social activities, and while it has been tremendously hard on her to do these things, somehow amazingly, she finds the inner strength.
Ell

I found my husband dead on our bedroom floor, last August, I think it is just hitting me.

I am so sorry…reading these posts are heartbreaking…
I lost my partner Sharon to Cancer on the 26th November at home…She would have been 51 on Xmas Eve…The grief is horrendous…I didn’t realize what true happiness was until I lost her…
Now I feel I’m just existing…
There are times when I just want to stay on bed…
I find it so hard t make any plans…
I’ve been off work since Sharon was admitted to the Beatson on the 25th August…
She was there for a few weeks but the Cancer and her health meant nothing else could be done…
I will be going back to work on the 18th of this month… I’m a support worker and do sleepover shifts…I know it is going to be very difficult…As I would give Sharon a phone…just for a few minutes to ask about anything in general…took these moments for granted…now I’m going to miss them dearly…
Love to all who are suffering with their loss…
Steve x

Mary…
…i know, it seems unreal, doesn’t it, one minute they are there, the next minute they-he is not, so hard coming to terms with our sudden and unexpected losses, and the sudden shock on finding them dead…
Ell…
…so sorry to read of the similarities between myself and you mother, both finding our loved ones dead in his armchair…As for exercise, only wish i never had this MS, this is hindering my getting out and walking, and plus my location of where i am now living, way down in the valleys with a steep uphill to my left, and a downhill slope to my right…just not practical, even though a stunning and beautiful location but miles from nowhere…
Jackie…

I’m so sorry for your loss and on Christmas Day too.
I’m glad you’ve found this place, as it is a comfort during a deeply upsetting and traumatic time. My Mum passed away suddenly 12 weeks ago. We lived together for 43 years.

Thanks for your kind words.i think when you lose someone who you lived with on your ownit’s harder to come to terms with as when everybody friends have gone your all on your own .you just want that person you loved to come back

You are likely to still be in shock. Shock protects the body during the first weeks and even months. Take it the only way you can, hour by hour on the rough days. Make GP said make sure you eat enough, as the body can get very run down.
It’s terribly sad, but you’ll always find support on here.
Yes, all one wants is ones loved one back. One day at a time. We will all get through this.

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Hello. My heart goes out to you. Please know that you are not alone. My partner of 18 years died suddenly November 2019. I miss him so, so much. It is very hard to continue living when I don’t want to live a life without him in it. I never expected this to happen. I am thinking of you and understand your pain and suffering.

It’s just really hard the anxiety the last two days has been terrible. Just feel like staying in bed but I make myself get up.didnt realise anxiety was involved in grief but it is

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