Losing my wife.

I lost my wife 3 weeks ago she took her own life,and I just want to be with her,the desire is so strong but my family would be devastated if I also went,but all I see ahead of me is a life of loneliness and pain,we were married for 40 years, and tomorrow since we were 15


Dear @Phil.3

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your wife. There is an organisation called SOBS (Survivors of bereavement by suicide) which will be of help and support to you.

They have a National Support Line on 0300 111 5065, it would be worth taking a look at their website for support, which can be reached by email also. They do have a Forum you can join and connect with others. You can also find a Support Group in your area by typing in your postcode on their website.

For someone to talk to straightaway there is the Samaritans on 116 123. It is a free and confidential service and available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

If you have not done so already, it might be helpful to you to book an appointment with your doctor to see what support they can offer you.

Thank you for bravely reaching out, it is not always easy to do that. We are all here to support you, you are not alone.

Please take care of yourself.


Hi Phil
I am so sorry for your loss. Please hang in there as your loss is so new and raw and you winlt be able to make any sense of things at present.
There are so many of us on this forum who have lost loved ones and we are still here to tell the tale although we have probably felt exactly the same as you in the first weeks.
I hope you can get some support to help you through this difficult time. This forum is always here if you feel the need to ‘talk’

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I hope so, for the sake of my family,I need to be here for them,but I never imagined I could feel so lost,I also feel I am a burden on everyone as I keep breaking down,as if wollowiing in self pity.

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Honestly Phil, we have all felt that feeling of being lost and alone. So you are not alone. If you feel the need to break down then don’t hold back and people around you must try to understand and of course your not wallowing in self pity. Your grieving, your hurting beyond words. You have also suffered a terrible shock which causes trauma.
Do seek out help if the pain becomes too intense.

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I’m so sorry for this dreadful loss for you. It’s so recent and the shock and disbelief must be unbearable at this stage.

This forum has many supportive people so you are among friends which I hope will help.
Sending hugs xxx

Thank you so much

@Phil.3 Your loss and the awful circumstances are traumatic. You and your family will need to grieve together. As a man, there is sometimes the feeling that we should not break down but keep it together but it is better to let it out. I lost my wife 15 weeks ago. I tried to keep it in but failed. So I encouraged my grown up children to grieve for their mother with me. Now we are at the stage where we know when one of us needs time out for grieving. I have had 2 time outs today. This is not wallowing but allowing yourself to feel the sadness of the loss of your life partner something none of us is likely to ‘get over’. You will find we understand the feelings of grief here so keep posting as you need to. You have an added trauma and We will all be with you.


Thank you Mike,I have had great support from friends and family, but nothing can replace that hug from your wife,I hope I can find some peace eventually for the sake of my family,but at the moment all I see is a long lonely life without my beautiful wife in it, and I have to fight the need to go with her .


So sorry Phil for your traumatic loss, its heartbreaking you must still be in shock and totally understand how lost you must feel.
I lost my husband last year (different circumstances) but I still struggle with the feelings and disbelief that he’s gone.
Feel free to msge me if you want someone to talk to or just vent on here. There’s always someone who’ll listen and understand

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Thank you so much,I really can’t find the words to say how I feel,
I just can’t see a future without Julie in it, every day just seems so pointless, there isn’t a minute of the day that she isn’t on my mind,it feels like I am going insane,

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