Hi. I lost my wife 2 days ago 1 day after her 50th birthday. I know its only a very short time but we have a 13 year old son who is so strong, much stronger than, keeps telling me that shes no longer suffering. She died of pneumonia but had TB when she was a kid, also had COPD but pneumonia wouldnt give her a chance. Is it right for me to think that i have nothing now, nothing here for me anymore? I have a 13 year old son … i dont know if these thoughts are right or not!
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Hi mate… pneumonia took my soulmate of 50 years in late January…resulting from the chemo to treat her CNS Lymphoma on her brain…your thoughts are normal…I still feel that way…but you have your son to think about…so theres your reason. Use this forum…its brilliant…and seek councelling…I have…take any help you can…and take one hour at a time…look no further forward than that…everyone on here will support you…
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@PaulN
So sorry for your loss, 2 days and everything will be so raw but in answer to your question, no you don’t have nothing because you have that lovely strong son of yours and I’m sure your wife would want you to treasure him. All any of us can do and are doing his taking baby steps, hour by hour while we try to process this trauma and navigate ourselves through the heartbreak that is grief. Go with it until you have strength to begin to heal. We learn to adapt and live alongside the grief because it will always be there in one form or another until we are ready to experience better days ahead
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Almost two weeks here. It’s so hard and raw still, but like others say, baby steps. Hour by hour.
He’s your reason to keep going. And for you. And your wife. She wouldn’t want you feeling like this, as understandable as it is right now that you do. And use this place. The people are amazing. I’ve spent so long messaging people and replying to kind messages and it’s been genuinely the biggest help, just talking and typing. It really helps keep focused and stop thinking about what is right now a horrific new life change to try to navigate your way through.
The idea of existing in this latest new reality - I thought we were so done with those… - is terrifying, but we’ll get there. We have to. Vent. Chat. Moan. Cry. We’re all muddling through the same. You’re not alone. It helps us all to try to support others sharing this same pain.
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Hi Paul, my wife died just over 3 months ago aged 54. I haven’t come to terms with her loss yet and feel angry, depressed and anxious. I believe that coping with the massive loss of a loved one is a long journey, not an event. And it requires feeling all those painful emotions, it can’t be an intellectual decision. Your son reminds me a bit of my step son who announced fairly shortly after him Mum died that he thought he had processed it. Your son is saying the sensible things but grieving for me doesn’t feel sensible, it feels messy and painful. I think every feeling you have is valid and we shouldn’t judge ourselves harshly. I wish you and your son well, I hope you find a way to come to terms with your loss.
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